Know thyself... use me...
ANYTHING to do with exploration of the psyche is subjective.
Electronic equipment that's used to measure chemical reactions or electronic impulse pathway activity, is NOT the mind.
Lets just get that clear.
I find that the Freudian structure - id, ego, super ego - satisfies my own questions about myself.
I can structure things in my own mind using this tool, that answers the questions that I'm seeking the answers to.
...It 'fits'.
As I said in the title - and as I said in a previous post - I'll use myself as 'the muse' to (try and) explain my own processes in understanding myself.
I'm comfortable with who I am - warts and all - but this was only after years of 'working on myself'.
And - in all honesty - it was external events in the world that best acted as the catalyst to my inner awareness.
(after years of on/off navel gazing, and wasted hours of 'self' help' literature. Bugger.)
Before we get to seeing me naked (calm down), a little background of terms and concepts is needed.
I've reduced down the three components of 'super ego' 'ego' and 'Id' to it's bones.
A broad understanding of where I'm coming from.
This is not about me.
This is about using me as a working example.
From this , I'll be delving into much more interesting subjects than my own internal crap.
CO-dependency, and narcissism (mostly overt and malignant narcissism, but touching on the covert, also).
THIS is a fascinating subject...
Understanding these personality types ( I hate calling them 'disorders', I think that's victim mentality bullshit) will save everyone a lot of hassle , in your own lives.
On all levels.
Emotionally, and financially.
Identifying the negative narcissist (narcissism has a bad reputation - there can be healthy narcissism to!) will allow you to withdraw, disengage, and move on, as painlessly as possible.
I'll be giving you the 'how to' pointers , in later posts.
'Walking before running' and all that....
I'm no guru, nor trying to be- I'm going off my own experiences and showing the process of learning by myself, about myself.
Which is why, I think, it's useful, to start with me as an example... before getting onto the really juicy stuff... And it is very juicy.
What is 'myself'?
In terms of exploring the psyche - it's the mind.
The mind – the personality of the person – is shaped through experience.
By far ( generally agreed upon on and pretty self evident , imo), the largest influencer on shaping a personality are the people in your life when young.
i.e. parents and siblings.
Mostly parents.
When you ‘re born, you have no conscious sense of ‘self’ – this develops.
The largest influence on this sense of self, are your parents (normally).
When you have no sense of self, your parent(s) act as your ‘super ego’.
Super ego? - Whats that?
THE SUPER EGO
The super-ego is mainly taught by parents applying their guidance and influence.
The installation of the super-ego can be described as a successful instance of identification with the parent.
As a child's development proceeds , the super-ego also takes on the influence of those who have stepped into the place of parents (teachers, people chosen as ideal models).
The super-ego aims for perfection.
It forms the organized part of the personality structure, mainly (but not entirely) unconscious.
This includes the individual's conscience - the thing that criticizes and prohibits drives, fantasies, feelings, and actions.
The Super-ego can be thought of as a type of conscience that punishes misbehavior with feelings of guilt.
It helps us fit into society by getting us to act in socially acceptable ways. The super-ego's demands often oppose the id's (I'll get to the 'id' lower down), so the ego sometimes has a hard time in reconciling the two.
So, we have the super ego, the id , plus the ego.
THE EGO
The ego (Latin for "I") acts according to the 'reality principle'.
It seeks to please the id's drive in realistic ways that bring benefit, rather than grief.
The ego "attempts to mediate between id, and reality".
It is often obliged to cloak the (unconscious) commands of the id with its own rationalizations, to conceal the id's conflicts with reality.
(The 'reality principle' is a regulating mechanism that enables the individual to delay gratifying immediate needs and functions in the real world).
The ego is the organized part of the personality structure.
Conscious awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are conscious.
The ego separates out what is real.
It helps us to organize our thoughts and make sense of them and the world around us.
The ego represents what may be called reason and common sense, in contrast to the id, which contains 'instinctual passions'.
The ego, driven by the id, and confined by the super-ego, attempts to bring harmony among the internal forces and influences working upon it,"
It has to do its best to suit all three elements that make up'the self'.
The super-ego is constantly watching every one of the ego's moves and punishes it with feelings of guilt, anxiety, and inferiority.
Ok, last, but not least(by far).
THE ID
The Id is the instinctual component of personality that’s present at birth.
It’s the source of bodily needs and wants, emotional impulses and desires - aggression and sex drive.
The id acts according to the pleasure principle — immediate gratification of impulse and desires.
The id does it’s best to avoid pain.
The Id is unconscious and is in stark contrast to the ego.
It has no organization, and is only striving to bring about the satisfaction of the instinctual needs.
Conflicting desires can both be present at the same time. Developmentally, the id precedes the ego. (the conscious ‘self’).
While "id" is in search of pleasure, "ego" emphasizes the principle of reality.
The mind of a newborn child is regarded as completely "id-ridden", - it is a mass of instinctive drives and impulses, and needs immediate satisfaction.
The id knows no judgement of value and no good and evil, no morality.
Hopefully that makes things clearer.
My life.
I had an emotionally detached Mother, a caring father, and two siblings that expressed the same personality traits that my mum showed.
How did this shape me?
A screwed up super ego, and shrunken ego, and an out of control id.
I had problems with reconciling(ego) the moral,(super ego) the instinct (id).
The super ego talks to the id, and the ego is then left to 'sort it all out'...
Here's diagram to illustrate better..
It's my subjective interpretation.
Where am I (was I) in this diagram?
I was the second diagram to a large degree.
My intellect (ego) negated the more negative, extreme, elements of this. (phew!)
The 'healthy' personality will see me in a negative light.
(lack of self control leading to feeling bad)
The 'guilt ridden' personality will see me in very critical light.
'Its not right to be like that'. Unable to feel pleasure seeing people enjoy themselves.
This is a very clumsy, blunt, and simplified version, of course.
It is much more nuanced than any three diagrams can provide.
I hope you see my 'understating orocess' (and help you understand yourself more, with a bit of luck).
THIS IS WHERE I COME FROM.
THIS IS NOT WHO I AM NOW
(I still 'regress', this is forever, a 'work in progress').
I never 'sit down and think about it' anymore.
I find that leads to navel gazing and laziness.
For me, the best way to grow is to accept the old, see how you want the new, in your minds eye - and then forget about it.
Let the unconscious do the work.
I'll be delving into the 'codependency' and 'narcissism's' in the next part, and explaining how - and why - these personality types take shape, and how to recognize them in others (and yourself).
I'll also be giving you tips on how to get 'past yourself' if you recognize a negative element within yourself that you want to change...