Arrival of the brother, avoid jealousy

Many children feel jealous with the arrival of the brother, who have to share space and attention with a stranger, who does very little and takes a long time. A time that was once only of them.

Thus, if the situation is not well managed, it will lead to an enormous amount of jealousy, enough motivation for behaviors that we did not want or even that we thought the little one had already overcome.

One of the ghosts behind jealousy is fear. In reality, it increases when the baby comes home and needs attention almost 24 hours a day. The child feels that he does not pay emotionally (at least not as before), which is ignored. Therefore, jealousy appears and the arriving baby becomes a competitor.

Fortunately, this situation can be addressed in a way that has no relevant consequences. Let's see how to get it.

Prepare the meeting to avoid jealousy with the arrival of the brother

To avoid jealousy before the brother's arrival, the child has to understand why the new member of the family needs so much attention. Therefore, it is important that parents show you photos of when you were a baby and explain the care you needed. In this way, when the newborn arrives, the child will better understand what is happening.

If a child does not understand how to care for babies, why parents should give so much attention and reasons why they have to divide the attention of parents, can reject the new sibling. To avoid this, it is essential to talk about the situation in which children understand and make good time management, so the "dethroned prince" does not lose all his space.

In addition, parents can give something to children on behalf of the baby that is on the way. It can be a doll, slippers or any other element. In this way, what is intended is that the child is curious about the baby that is going to arrive and that, perhaps, even corresponds in the same way, preparing something with an emotional meaning for when the encounter occurs.

Some children, when jealous, are very irritated. On the other hand, others express themselves with sadness.

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What happens when the baby arrives?

Preparing the meeting to avoid jealousy is very important. This will be the starting point, the first impression, the moment in which the eldest son will choose an attitude towards the brother who has just arrived. So, if we organize well, with this presentation we can avoid many future problems.

No matter how we prepare, the child may be reluctant to meet him or does not recognize him as part of the family. It can be a manifestation of shyness, but also of rejection. Identifying if it is one or another position will help us to work from this point, providing a space to express their emotions and helping them to work with them.

In many cases, parents do not let the older child carry the baby, no matter how much they ask. This is a serious mistake, because one of the premises for the child is not jealous that she is involved in the activities that are carried out with the newborn.

Letting a child hold a baby can be dangerous, but we can allow if you are sitting and stay by your side controlling the situation at all times.

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The paper of the parents

If the child wants to participate, we should let her get involved in the tasks of taking care of the baby. At the time of the bath, the brother can collaborate, if he wants or if we can encourage him (in no case force him or emotionally blackmail him). Whether you choose a towel, shampoo, letting it gently rub your brother's head ... Contact is essential.

The more moments we share with both at the same time, the greater the integration and the less we will have to divide. In that sense, we also need to avoid going to the other extreme. In no case will the older brother be responsible for taking care of his younger brother.

If a child is prevented from approaching the brother and touching him with the excuse that his hands are dirty or that he can hurt him, jealousy is likely to come to the surface and rejection as well.

All the measures taken and the efforts made to avoid jealousy before the arrival of the brother should not replace the quality time a child needs. As impressive as the baby's needs, the older child still has his needs and give thanks for the time to devote himself exclusively to it. The links are unique and non-transferable.

In that sense, parents will have to make an effort to try to maintain the routines that existed before, trying to keep especially those that included the older son. In this way, the child will feel close to his parents and see that it is still important to them.

In conclusion with the arrival of the brother is of paramount importance, to avoid jealousy, that parents have a good margin of action. In the same way, as the baby grows new challenges and even jealousy will appear. In one way or another, these phenomena are part of the wonderful adventure of parenting.

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