Tools Of Persuasion.

in psychology •  10 months ago

How frustrating it is when you can't convince people to do the right thing, to take the right decision?

How much helpless do you feel when people don't listen to you?

After trying everything, you will feel that people resist you, but it is not like that. What you are lacking is a better way to communicate with people.

Only 7% of our communication is based on the words we use.

About 31% is based on the tone of our voice and 53%, the major chunk of our communication is based on our body language.

So, what you thought was your best, was only the 7% best of your communication.

Imagine what you could do, if you can communicate in a 100% way.

Sometimes people are unable to understand our words, but they can understand our body language, if we can converse with them in the right way.

If we can copy their body posture, body movements, and their voice tone, we can grab their attention, making them listen to us and think about what we are saying.

In psychology, it is called mirroring, and in NLP, it is called creating a rapport.

It is the best way to understand people, from their point of view, so that you can communicate with them in a better way.

Why does it works?

We love to spend time with people who are like us. We make friends who have qualities like us, or do things like we do.

We join music and dance groups because of the common interest we share with the people of that group.

The thing is, we love to live in harmony. We are always trying to surround ourselves with people who are similar to us.

So, if we find someone, who talks like us, has body movements like us, our subconscious mind picks up these activities, and immediately, we will develop a liking for that person.

How to Mirror people?

The first step is to listen to them closely. Most people like to talk about themselves. They don't want to hear what others have to say, but they want others to listen to them.

If someone is talking and we listen to them closely, we can find out a lot about them. It can tell us the tone of their voice, do they speak fast or slow, is their voice harsh or soft, do they like to talk about themselves, or their activities/problems or things about other people.

The next thing to do is to observe their body movements and posture.

How they sit, how they breathe, do they take long breaths or short breaths, how they use their hands while talking. While sitting, do they lean back or forward, while walking do they take long steps or short steps.

The more we practise it, the more easily we will notice these things.

The third step is to repeat all the body movements subtly, not in a mimicking way so that the person may get offended, but in a way that only their subconscious mind will notice it.

Have you got them in sync?

Once you learn to mirror people effectively, they will get in sync with you, i.e., they will repeat your body movements. They will lean back if you lean back in your chair, they will yawn, if you yawn in front of them.

To figure out if they are in sync with you or not, you can move your hands/head slowly, and if they repeat the same movement after you; you have got them in sync. Now they are ready to comply with you; they are ready to listen to you.

After listening to your opinion more attentively, they will try to find reasons in your words.

Because they see a shadow of themselves in you, but subconsciously.

The more you will practise this technique, the better you will become in it.

This technique is used by professionals from all over the world, from good communicators/speakers to salespersons to hypnotherapists.

Many con artists use this technique to grab people's attention only to rob them afterwards, like we have seen in the movie, "Focus" by Will Smith.

So, if you know about this trick, you will be able to prevent yourself from being manipulated by con artists and clever salespeople.


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Interesting article ☺

Personally, I learnt that the 'convincing others and letting myself be convinced by others - game' is somewhat pointless. I fully agree with your 'it's all about communication', yet I find especially these days most people do not want at all to be told what they should do or not. I get that in a sense, because my viewpoint is that people have to make their practical experiences because only this way they find out for themselves.
No matter how striking and helpful our recommendations might be, and even should be proven right later, more often than ever people need the practical lesson themselves.

I don't even meddle in others decision-making at all anymore, and I only tell them my opinion if explicitly asked for. I found this to be by far the most healthy method for myself ,and in the long-term for others as well :)


I agree with you that it is the most healthy method to not interfere with anyone's decision for a long-term relationship.

My viewpoint is not to manipulate someone or try to change people's decision but to come to a decision that is in harmony with us and others.

We face situations like trying to negotiate our rent with landlords, asking for discounts on products or having arguments with people and our family.

So what's wrong with a technique which helps them to listen to our opinions more attentively and with reasons, instead of ignoring them, resisting them.

This is not some kind of magic trick that can manipulate someone to do whatever we want, it is just a way to communicate better with people, and how is communicating with someone in a better way ever wrong?


Haha, YES! Perfectly stated. Surely, when you are negotiating with landlords honed communication skills are of great assist, and generally in all your examples here

To not become pulled over the barrel is indeed a good skill to have, and this starts with communication. But yeah, even when I prefer saying nothing in more personal relationships, and let others have their learning lesson, this is also a kind of a communication method.

ALL is communication! :)


All is communication, even when you decide not to say anything, a silent communication.

You have been upvoted by the @sndbox-alpha! Our curation team is currently formed by @anomadsoul, @GuyFawkes4-20, @martibis and @fingersik. We are seeking posts of the highest quality and we deem your endeavour as one of them. If you want to get to know more, feel free to check our blog.

This is a courtesy of @GuyFawkes4-20

Some very good info there! I've frequently noticed the importance of body language!


Thanks, very few notice body language consciously, but everyone notices it unconsciously.

That's why I thought of sharing about it!

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Thanks for the invite buddy, and I know about that group too.

There is a reason I didn't join that group because I don't agree with the methods of buying votes to get more views.

I believe in developing skills, that is for long-term, which will help me on steemit and outside steemit too.


@looftee sharkschool is not only about buying upvotes it's about growing your business and other skill development


Okay, I will think about it then, thank you!

in opportunities we persuaded even with our corporal gestures


In other words, influence begins as we get down to their level first and Mary Did You Know Song.


I don't get it!

wow!great post



But you have to use a strong argument for persuasion and you do not despair and patience because people need us


what does that mean?