I am terrible at making decisions. Especially ones that relate to myself and that are potentially life altering. I can go over and over it in my mind until I drive myself, and my husband, crazy. I’ve picked up over the years that it is a combination of different things. I’m insecure, tend to put others before myself and I’m scared to disappoint myself and others.
Recently I have found myself in a situation where I have a very important decision to make and as I’m writing this I am still turning it over and over in my mind. Writing has always helped me to make sense of how I am feeling. It’s like it puts it in an order that my chaotic mind can understand. Probably also why I like cleaning when I’m upset. It’s therapeutic for me to start with something that is so out of control and bit by bit sort it out and in the end, it’s all clean. Like a clean slate. I feel like I have accomplished something. Well, as clean as it’ll ever be with kids around hahaha.
So, what is this decision? Well I have been offered a half day job. Not so bad, right? Well the problem is that I left my previous job because I wanted to spend time on making my dream a reality. I’m scared that if I take the job then I am giving up on myself. Giving up on all the hard work that I have put into building myself back up again after being so lost and broken at the end of last year. It doesn’t matter what decision one needs to make, there will always be an element of the unknown. At many times in my life I have had to make difficult decisions about things that could affect my life and my dreams. Over the years I have developed a little process that I go through in trying to help me make that decision. What follows are some of the points I consider before I make tough ones.
When the decision was first placed before you, what was the first thought you had before you could start to process it? This feeling, thought or knee jerk reaction is what your gut is telling you. This is before the heart and mind get involved and start the battle between the two. In my experience this is normally the right option. You see, this is the one that is most true to you. It’s a raw reaction and hasn’t been manipulated yet.
Talk, Write and Draw
Think about it, there are always people in our lives who our decisions affect. I find talking to someone I trust and who knows me well, helps me to sort through all the options. We all have our different methods of making sense of it all. The important thing here is just to list all your options and possible outcomes.
Think About Your Dream
We all have a dream and we all have goals and a plan to achieve that dream. Okay, some not in as much detail as others, but we have probably put some thought into it and know that we need to complete certain things to achieve our dream. In making the decision are you moving away from your dream or can this in some way help you to achieve it?
Modify The Plan
In life stuff happens and these can affect our original plans. In making your decision think about if you could somehow adapt your plan to incorporate this new decision in achieving your dreams. Plans are not set in stone and should be adapted throughout the journey any way.
Decide On Your Own Non-Negotiable
Now this is important for me. I often get caught in a place where I merely agree just because I want to make the other person happy. Here I decide what would be unacceptable to my beliefs and what I stand for. As long as the decision doesn’t affect that I am not undermining myself or my own happiness.
Think About The Worst & The Best
This is important. We all want the best outcome to happen with every single decision that we make. The truth is that this is not always the case. That’s why I say you must think about the worst too. This way you can prepare yourself for both possible outcomes and understand that the risk is worth the reward, as it were.
In the end just believe in yourself and your decision. I do not follow these in any particular order, in fact I go back and forth between them often. Having said that, I am also no expert. I have just found that breaking it up like this helps me in making the tough ones a bit easier. We are all individuals after all and I’m sure we all have our own methods. I would love to hear your thoughts on how you make the tough ones?
Thank you for reading and remember to keep smiling 😊
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