@shamnanmawna i am trying to relate. Reading this;

But not today. And not reaching out today scares me. I could lose you anytime. Your health hasn't been the best. Our lineage is prone to strokes and heart attacks and kidney stones. You are older now, close to the age your father was when he first experienced a stroke. I could lose you at any moment.

Breaks my heart. I know you are trying to conform to mental and physical reality. But does philosophy not teach us tgat nature conform to what we think?

My dear friend, this is really sweet article, i would also love you to be positive about this. Welldone and keep your mental spirit firm.
I will also recommend you read the secret.