Thank you for the thoughtful post. I will need time to consider this. One thing I have been thinking about emotions is to learn to sit with them for a while before acting, never to react mindlessly and to ask myself why I am feeling this emotion. So acting unthinkingly means I am angry, therefore its someone elses's fault. I am angry at them, I attack them. Everything gets worse, but I feel better having let out my emotion in destructive way.

You are right that repressing emotion is bad too and can lead to depression and health problems, but most of all doesn't solve the conflict.

If I think why am I angry? Maybe I am insecure and you said something that reminded me of a past hurt. So feel the emotion, acknowledge it and say I am angry, I am hurt, etc but not to blame others for my emotion.