The dark side of empathy

in #psychology7 years ago

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The empaths are often called "the healers of the world." They are the people with exasperated senses not only aware of the existence of different energies in the world but also making them feel like their own. People probably think that the ability to sense the feelings of others is a gift, but if you can convince an empath to tell you about your abilities, you will understand that it’s not a matter of great joy at all. In fact, very often it’s a gift that is not pleasant to possess. Because of their abilities, many people rely on them for support. Empathy is almost always trustworthy because it can make others feel safe and understandable. But while the empath is capable of coping with the emotions of others, it remains a stress that he then needs to deal with alone. The dark side of empathy often manifests itself in the form of two contradictory voices, two constantly controversial points of view in their heads. They constantly feel both good and bad, negative and positive. Combating this ambivalence often makes them feel overwhelmed. Empaths are more susceptible to negative energies in life. Their strong ability to feel can’t get them out of the deep-rooted evils that exist in the world. Their deep understanding of how the world exists and operates is enough to make them confused and sad. An understanding that makes it difficult to live. Understanding that makes them live with sadness that comes from the question of why this negative energy exists at all, provided that the only thing it does is to hurt the others. The dark side of empathy lies also in the continuous fatigue, exhausted by the energies these people are forced to swallow. This is something that the others never understand, because the empath never lets himself break or lose control. They quietly observe, accept and sympathize. Like everyone else, empaths want to love and be accepted as what they are. But from their generosity and kindness, they are used by people who only accustomed to take and never to give. The Empathy in every sense of the word is always willing to show mercy and sympathy to the people in need, at any time, completely neglecting themselves. The dark side of empathy is the ignorance that being so selfless is an incredibly heavy burden that one can hardly carry on shoulders. Even if they understand the complexity of their selflessness, they often decide to ignore it, as wearing that burden for them is much more meaningful than letting them fall on someone else's shoulders.

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The dark side of empathy is the voluntary neglect of their physical and spiritual well-being in the name of the good of others. A negligence left to manifest for years ultimately leads to the need to seek and find their soul again, something they only allow to do when they feel completely lost. The dark side of empathy is the knowledge that even if they fall in love, they will never indulge completely. They simply are not able to give every piece of their heart to someone else. They know that if they do so, the intensity of their feelings and passion will be manifested by the power of a powerful tidal wave and the opposite side will not be able to deal with it. That's why they always keep a small fraction of themselves hidden from the rest of the world. They have to be protected, though they want more than that, even though they have the great need to show all the power of their feelings. The dark side of empathy is the war with themself. War against sadness, darkness, despair, that always try to raise their ugly heads and lead them to self-destruction. The only way to overcome this sensation is to learn to distinguish between the emotions that are their own and the emotional energy-cheaters that invade them from outside. Empathy needs a person who understands them, a person with whom they can talk and share, a person who listens to them with care. Someone who does what they are constantly doing for others. Empaths must learn to ruin the wall they have built around their own feelings and allow their empathic abilities to create good for themselves, in the name of their own lives and welfare. Otherwise, they are doomed to fight hard with themselves. A fight that never ends.

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Thank you for posting this. It was like reading a reflection of myself. I struggle with the empathetic nature I possess incessantly, and I find myself quite often lost in a dark swirl of trying to isolate my identity. I love the expression “emotional energy-cheaters” as in the past year or so, I feel like my entire existence is bordered by this type of person. Again, thank you for the enlightenment.

Yes I feel the same way too sometimes and I write this article from my own experience. It is really hard but in a egocentric society like ours it is a really valuable thing to have and express sometimes. :)

I relate completely! I couldn’t agree more with the statement you made regarding the continuous fatigue one feels, as we try to observe and accept others and strive to identify all the intracacies of those around us to fuel them, and leave ourselves depleted without recognition sometimes of what exactly it is that is depleting us.

Thank you for talking about some of the pitfalls that empaths can experience. There are ways to prevent the downsides, but most people never learn about them. The work that I do was developed by Karla McLaren, who wrote Art of Empathy - helps people learn how to use their empathy and emotions in productive ways and set boundaries to avoid a lot of the negative side effects. Empathy is a skill, just like any other - but to work with it safely and productively you need to understand it and learn how!

Thank you for this comment. I am glad you mention this lady, I will check more things about her and her books. :)

She's amazing, and feel free to ask me any questions if you're interested. I'm licensed to teach her work. I do a weekly live radio show with msp-waves too, if you're interested to listen and comment/discuss. Let me know!

Yes, of course :) Just want first to read some of her books :)

Cool. Feel free to message me in discord anytime; same username @uniwhisp

Thank you for sharing , interesting read, can relate to much of this . . good to reflect on our nature !

Thank you :)

It seems to me a form of magic, so uncommon is it that what we, empaths, intuit can give the impression that we can read minds. I guess it's true enough - but not minds - more like the emotional history. Unfortunately, for me, I don't seem able to use it purely to my advantage. I say this because it seems I'm compelled to be honest and forthright - even with my enemies or people that are obviously always taking their advantages over me and everyone else.
Imagine a poker game where your face is a video screen of the other players - and your own- hands!! lol
Sheesh!

haha, interesting thoughts! Cheers! :)

In many opportunities that empathy can hide the need to feel needed by the helpless, it is a complex of superiority that is reinforced every time he provides help to someone

Yes you are right :)

Empaths are beautiful beings, but I believe they can use their logical side to figure out when they shouldn't sacrifice themselves. I myself am sensitive to energy and am compassionate toward others, but gotta stay personally grounded!

Appreciate the post! Keep Steeming.

Thanks! Cheers!

This is a very insightful article! Thanks for sharing! I agree with what you said, having known a few very empathetic people myself. Often, they throw themselves into others' issues at their own expense. They get hurt in the process with very little to show at times.

Thank you very much :)

The empath is a great feeling for other people. It is not given to many. If it is directed to help other people it's great.


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Yes you are right :)

Deep and truthful. Even positive things have a dark side on the extremes.

Yes you are right. Thanks :)

good info. thanks for sharing.

you are welcome :)

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