My office, my desk, my precious

in #psychology6 years ago

In some of my previous posts I've mentioned the concept of ownership which I tend to rule my life by. It means that I take responsibility for my actions, thoughts, opinions, success and failure. The ownership-concept also encompasses removing ego from my personality; As a leader (a manager) I focus on building up the team, training and supporting then allowing the team the credit or accolade for their success rather than bask in their success myself. It makes for a happy team. I use the word happy and not content because my teams are never content, they continuously seek improvement which is an activity I promote and reward. So, ownership is a reasonably simple concept despite, for some, not being simple to embrace and deploy.

This post focuses on a different type of ownership though. The word itself means: The act, state or right of possessing something and we all own something: Cars, clothing, houses and so on and like the case in the above paragraph the ownership of one's emotions, thoughts and actions etc.

So here's the scenario

At my work place I am fortunate enough to have my own office rather than a cubicle. There's only 7 actual office's in the building disbursed as follows: 1 shared by three administrators, 1 for the office manager, 1 each for the three Directors, 1 for the sales manager and 1 for me. The rest of the office is open-plan sectioned into cubicles and split between about 40 other people or so.

Some time ago I returned to my office to find one of the young sales lads sitting at my desk his mobile phone. I happened to be on the phone myself (mobile) and so could only give him the evil eye (I do that well actually), point at him and then point at the door. He got up and left, albeit a little reluctantly. This was at about 11am. I continued about my day waiting for the young (30 years old) lad to come in and explain himself, apologise or attempt to justify using my office. He did not. Now, to be clear about it he has is own desk, computer, chair, note pads, pens and other officey items in abundance. Oh, also to clarify; I am not his manager.

Driving home that evening I decided to give him, (let's call him Mr. Rude) a phone call. He answered and I explained that my office was not a common area, nor was it his office and that I thought it was a little inappropriate of him to presume to enter without my express permission. I was level-headed, calm and concise. I even explained that in using my office he put himself at risk in the advent of something going missing from it that he may be blamed for. And what did I receive? Certainly not an apology. He attempted to justify his intrusion. He went to great lengths to do so in fact. Me being me I wasn't buying it. At no point did he apologise although I believe he thinks he did. His words were, "I won't use your office anymore, unless it's unavoidable..." In my minds-eye at that moment I had choked him out with a Brazilian JiuJitsu move, but all I could say was, "Mr Rude, the choices you make in life will always have implications. I'm asking that you do not enter my office without my express permission and should you chose to do so I will know that you are willing to accept the implications your actions trigger." He didn't comment. He's a disrespectful little asshole really.

I won't go into the reasons in this post however Mr. Rude is no longer with the business. No, not because he used my office.

Looking back now I wonder if I could have handled it differently though; The jury is still out on that question. It makes me think about ownership and possession and how we attach ourselves to things; Material things. Sure, my reason for having my office is so that I can perform my job however I still see it as mine. It's filled with my favourite quotes, pictures of my wife, my vanilla soy candle, bonsai tree, my personal touches...Is it wrong or possessive of me to see it as mine when quite obviously it is the Directors office as they own the building? Materialistic of me, pretentious? Maybe so. I don't see myself as very materialistic though, or pretentious. I guess it comes down to respect rather than ownership. I wouldn't go and sit at someone else's desk like Mr. Rude did and so don't expect anyone to sit at mine. It's simple courtesy and respect I think; Both things Mr. Rude wasn't able to call his.

Anyway, there is a funny twist to the episode. One of the other guys in the office overheard me and one of the Directors talking about the episode and thought it would be funny to put this photo of Gollum from Lord of the Rings on my office door. That was about 2 months ago...It's still there, because it's funny. :)

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Image source

[- Design and create your ideal life, don’t live it by default - @galenkp -]

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Lol funny post. It is very rude indeed. I would be upset about the fact he might have farted on my chair ;)

Or sniffed it... :) Not sure what’s worse!

The last part is funny! :)

I don't think you're off base. It's strange that he would feel free to use your office without asking, especially if you weren't close or he wasn't your subordinate.
It's a space that's designated to you by the company for the betterment of the company. You have a job to perform and that's one of your tools for doing so. It's your privilege and your responsibility, so when he uses it without permission, that can reflect poorly on your responsibility (if he does something bad).
Good for you for talking to him about it. It's too bad that he couldn't take responsibility, apologize, and use the learning opportunity to build a relationship with you. Never hurts to have higher level contacts.

I agree completely. He had an opportunity to relationship-build with me and gain some respect however he chose the egotistical option of standing his ground.

I'm pretty proud of my Gollum picture and it's become part of the furniture. I don't mind the guys having a joke about it as I know it's done good-naturedly. Thanks for commenting.

Well to me. Some times our reaction to people depend most times on our temperament.
Like what you explained in the post, if i as a sanguine temperament, i could crack out some jokes out of what he did and still pass the message that hey that's my table, don't sit there again and it will pass.
I guess your temperament is "serious choleric or melancholy" that their voice may sound harsh but their mind not in tune with their voice.

You have decided what my temperament is based on a few words? “Serious, choleric or melancholy” you say. You don’t know me so your opinion is unfounded and uninformed. However your opinion is yours, no matter how wrong it is.

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