Psychology : Are you a middle born child or do you know someone who is not a first born or last born? Here is what family psychologists have to say about your(or their) character, behavior and life future.(21 character traits)
- Did you know that your past, present and future is(or was) influenced by whether you are the 1st born, 2nd born, 3rd born or even last born in your family? Birth order is the placement of siblings in a family. Many psychologist focus on this area and have come up with researches and facts that prove that Birth Order in a family influences ones behavior.
- Alfred Adler(1870–1937) is known for bringing this field. Adler believed that your life is also influenced by the position you were born in your family. That is to say 1st born children have different character traits with middle children and also very different with the 'one child in a family'.
- In my previous post I talked about the First Born Child's characteristic traits. I shared with you some research done to show the characteristic traits of those who are born first among-st siblings. I also defined who is a first born and how some siblings automatically have first born character traits even if they are not first born.
- Today the focus will be on the middle born siblings and their characteristic traits in life.
If you are an academic and want to research more on Birth Order here are some great sources of information by professional psychologists of Birth Order you may want to consider:
Definition of a middle born child/ Who is a middle born child:
1 . This is a person who is not the 1st born or last born in their family.However if their age difference with their older sibling before them or the sibling next to them is 5 or more years then they cannot be called middle born but will carry 1st born characteristic traits.
2 . A second born of three children in a family whose birth spacing is not more than 5-6 years as said on number 1. They also include the 2nd, 3rd ,4th and or 5th child in a family of 6 children and whose birth spacing is no higher than 5-6 years.
3 . According to Dr Leman it is a person born between the 1st(or oldest) in the family and the last actual baby of the family.
N.B. A person born in the middle but is the 1st of her gender in a family with more people from the opposite sex is not a middle child in this theory(although may still have some traits) and carries the character traits of a 1st born child. They are called functional first born children. Here is an example: Lets say it is a family of 10 children(5 boys and 5 girls) and the 1st 3 are boys.The sister who comes at number 4 will act like a first born because she is the 1st of all the girls in the family and will be expected to lead the girls making her a functional first born. I wrote about 1st born character traits here.
N.B. With this theory once a person born in the middle has an age difference of 5-6 years with the sibling born before them then they automatically will have 1st born characteristics. Also once the age difference between them and their sibling rises up-to 7-10 years they are not to be classified as middle child and will adopt character traits of single children born without siblings.
N.B. A blog post about 1st born children has already been published here. This one is for middle children as defined above.A blog post on ‘Last Born Children’ and ‘Only Children/Single Child’ will also be posted.
Here are the character traits of most middle born siblings
1 . The middle child is most likely to move away from family whilst the 1st born and last born feel at home
This maybe mostly because they do not feel anyone pays attention at them even their parents. Focus is mainly on the 1st born and the family baby.
2 . They are the ‘social butterflies’ of the family according to Dr Leman
They have got many friends and will make friends instantly.
3 . To them friends are important since they make them feel more special
According to Dr Leman the 1st born in the family feels special because he/she is the 1st and the last born feels special because he/she is at the end of the line.
4 . They hang up with their peers than does any other children in the family
According to Dr Leman this is mostly because they feel misunderstood at home.
5 . In the family album its most likely there are less photos of the middle born child but more of the 1st born sibling and the last born sibling
6 . Their motto is ‘I don’t get respect’
They are not given attention most times.
7 . If the middle born is born as number 2 he/she will go to a career path totally different from that of their 1st born brother/sister
They are somewhat different from the 1st born as said by D.r Leman. The 'firstborn and second born in your family are night and day different' is what Kevin Leman says about them.
8 . If the middle born is born as number 3 they will most likely have commonalities with the number 1 in the family whilst the number 2 is more similar to the number 4 of the family.
9 . May become the victim in the family
Feel unrecognized by the same parents who love her/him whilst the 1st born and baby may tease her/him.
10 . May become manipulators/ controllers
Meant to get attention unconsciously.
11 . They are hardest to understand compared to the last and 1st born siblings
They have so many secrets inside their hearts.
12 . It is quite normal for them to feel left out, ignored and even insulted
13 . Without being pushed they may never reach their potential
14 . In a family they are not expected to accomplish much compared to the 1st born
So with this Dr Leman says 'they can get away with occasional laziness and indifference' compared to the 1st born who should always be successful in the eyes of parents.
15 . Middle born siblings are competitive in life
They try hard to achieve success in life.
16 . They will be opposite the sibling born before them
For instance if the sibling born before them is conventional/good mannered they are most likely to have unconventional behavior and vice-versa.
17 . The mediators of the family who will try to keep peace
They are the best in family diplomacy and will try to make-sure they avoid more conflict in the family via a compromise.
18 . Compromising
19 . Independent but extremely loyal to his/her peer group
Loyal to friends and those in their social circle forever.
20 . Individualist, rebel and independent at times
21 . They are used to people not paying attention to them
It has been explained and described who is a middle born sibling according to Birth Order psychologists.Some of their character traits have also been given. This has been through years of research done by Dr Leman, Adler and many other psychologists. Middle born siblings are most likely to leave home since they are not given attention. Seems like the life of a middle born sibling is one of the hardest since attention is rarely given to them. There is also a post published about first born siblings if you want to know more.