RE: The Dying Embers Of Unspoken Communication; What Is Wrong With The Human Informal Society?
I believe that the ability to interpret body language remains as long as people are physically born and exist. You're generally very good at reading someone. Only if you would be asked what the person feels most likely to feel at the moment, uncertainty can appear, because the person in question wants to judge correctly in the end. He wants to achieve a good result in front of the questioner, maybe even be praised. Another stumbling block is to ignore what you have just experienced through body language and instead question your mind. The mind is like a huge supermarket shelf: it starts to offer all kinds of varieties and tricks itself by giving in to a wish instead of the expressed posture. There is the wish the father of the thought that someone has bad intentions towards you or someone else when he makes a serious face. But let's not fool ourselves, even behind a smiling face we can recognize anger, sadness or fear if we remain open to it.
in my opinion people have been using the unspoken kind of communication rather wrongly, sometimes the things we cannot say we usually communicate through our gesture and body language, but after looking at so many cases I often wonder, do we really need to be educated on the use of gestures and body language in order to utilise it to a powerful method of communication?
I click my tongue :)
This is a very good observation. Yes, people always communicate something they don't dare to say. They can't even suppress what they don't want to say out loud. Whether it requires education to use powerful physical communication? Well, not necessarily by others, but rather by a self-enlightening interest in the subject.
Definitely amazing and captivating response @erh.germany and it's really been a long time. Well you're right the ability to interpret body language remains as long as people are physically born and exist but I think sometimes after studying people I feel it might even be degrading a little bit. People are loosing the essence and importance of their inner self and they're more into utilizing their outter self. This makes them sometimes ignore the essence of body language and gestures. So sometimes we as other people we listen amiss because nowadays people hardly care of they're passing the wrong message
Ah, I see, thank you. That triggers further thoughts.
I'm not sure if this is a phenomenon of the present or hasn't been the case in different forms for a long time. I think it is more relevant in a larger context. So I agree with this observation in that I can say: if my own mind is too busy thinking, i.e. is constantly in the business mode, then I am less receptive to the signals from my environment. Body language of the others as well as other movements pass me almost unnoticed.
Since I assume that being present in everyday life is partly rather poorly developed in people, I think that this phenomenon actually exists in such civilizations that have little to worry about scanning their environment for food or enemies.
In modern societies, we see it in the fact that in principle everyone can completely ignore their surroundings and instead focus on the digital world. It's basically a logical consequence of technology, we haven't had any predators, natural hazards or muggers (with time and space exceptions) here for centuries.
Nevertheless, I think that biological evolution is not really changing at this rate. The natural instinct to be able to interpret other people's body signals in case of danger or discomfort in public space has certainly not been lost. However, we are probably more dependent on a spontaneous decision of the will as long as we feel comfortable and at ease and safe with our surroundings.
Which in turn leads me to the second assumption that even in our modern comfort apartments and offices or social encounters all human antennae are actually always extended and if one assumes how quickly people react to each other without talking, this theory that they have a poor command of body language is no longer very viable. People who grew up as children in insecure circumstances (and many did) are excellent body language readers. As a child, they had to be constantly on their guard, learning to assess adults, basically ignoring the words and paying more attention to moods and indeed their bodies, in order to adapt quickly. It is one of the most stressful social encounters when you are in a room full of hat people, who all react immediately if someone shows signs of activity that in the eyes of the others might not succeed right away. The body-readers jump in immediately and interfere.
So I would say that the form of presence of mind I speak of first above is more Buddhist (developed) in nature, the second form is more instinctive in nature, which has little to do with a consciously made mental decision as a consequence of an interaction of reading body language.
Definitely well said. I want to also think the society we live in plays a crucial role in this issue. I wish I could paint a better picture for you of this society in which I am currently living in and how miscommunication has ended relationship and lives and how nobody is even paying attention to the damage or good through which the correct
or wrong faciall expression can matter a lot. It's led a whole lot of people into suicide and it's ended dreams and marriage. I'm laying emphasis on it's deeper but sadly negative effects and it even hurts to think of them.
I think I already understood.
People who do not practice being present usually aren't aware of their facial expressions. I'd provocatively say there aren't wrong or right expressions in the sense that you have to judge them. Those expressions just happen.
If you see someone wearing a mask or showing an - in your eyes - inappropriate expression than all you can do is to decide of what service you can be to them. You can decide to create an atmosphere of non judgement and give ease to a situation.
Maybe you notice that the other is noticeably relaxing once he or she senses that you aren't a competitor, jeopardy, ignorant or aggressor to them. If you cannot be of service in this way, it'd be better to not seek company or give yourself a time out, if possible. Taking care of your well being until you feel ready to be back in a social situation.
Talking about it in this way gives rise to the insight, that social situations cannot be avoided and that practicing non judgemental communication could be part of every day life. Taking time outs, a practice in the middle of meeting others, as to softly willingly calm down, peace up, humor up, pace down, stress down.
This is work. One can choose to practice. It's difficult. One fails a lot of times. But I see every failed chance as given - cannot be changed, only accepted - and can be delighted when the next chance comes along: a chance for practicing.
What does experience tells you? Have you managed to change from inward judging into an un-judging state of mind? I did on some occasions and probably have a hit rate of 3 out of 10 times in doing so. IF I stay present. If not, the counter doesn't work :)
Stay well. Greetings from Hamburg.