How to deal with difficult people without being emotionally charged.

There will be a time in our life when we are face with difficult moments. Moments that can potentially hurt us or test us. It very much depends on the meaning you attach to the moment.

When face with moments like this, it is good to step back and reflect on the next course of action. Recently I have met many challenges at work that would test my leadership capability. Among all the possible challenges a leader has to face, I think dealing with people is the most difficult.

It's never easy when you are dealing with people. People comes in all shapes and attitude. Attitude that reflects who they really are and as a leader, you have got to be objective and not get emotionally attached.

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The three steps that I believe could make it a little easier to overcome the challenges you face with people is based on my personal experience. This three steps is to assist you to find the best way to deal with difficult people.

1.) People do things for their own good intention.

Changing the way you look at things is one way to gain a better understanding why people do the things they do. Taking an example , even though it is wrong to steal, but some people steal to feed their family and themselves. People who bully want to feel that they are in control because they may have inferiority complex. Sometimes we do the wrong thing because we justify it with our good intention.

If it is breaking the law, it is still wrong. The reason for having a different perspective in this situation is to bring to light that everyone and even the meanest of person has some good in them. So, it is good to focus on their good points rather than the fault itself. Give them opportunity to change for the better.

2.) Building rather than condemning

Our role as a leader is to build people up rather than discarding them to one side. The temptation is strong because the easiest way to makes sure everyone tow the line is remove the disloyal ones. Here , I am suggesting to focus on building people up and move away from condemning. The latter action will not serve any purpose but only create negative emotions.

However , a true test of leadership is about bringing out the best in people. Of course , I have in the past, tried to get one of my staff to change but I failed miserably. Despite the coaching and personal time with him. I now realise that people will only change when they want to. You can bring the horse to the river but you can't force it to drink.

3.) Decide, reset and Move on

You are required to make the call. Take the necessary action. It may not be easy but it has to be done. Look at the overall impact to the people around you. If you have to remove the bad hat, do it before it form a cancer that might spread throughout the organisation.

Some people can be given the opportunity while some , they are just in the wrong place in the organisation. They might be happier somewhere else. You may be just doing them a favour by forcing change upon them.

Once you have decided, reset your mind. Don't be emotionally entangled in the conflict. Just move on. You will be happier and free to carry on with your other leadership task.

If you have your share of experience, do leave a comment so we can all learn from each other