What Is Loneliness?

Now usually when I post something like this it is something I've written as a sermon, however, I came across this article on my social media and it's probably the best way anyone can describe the feeling. I'll take an excerpt, link to the full, and maybe find some solutions ;)

"Three Factors Of Loneliness

According to Cicioppo and Patrick (2008) how lonely people feel seems to be a combination of three factors. The first is Level of Vulnerability to Social Disconnection.

Each individual has a general genetically set need for social inclusion and your level of need will be different from someone else's. If your need for connections is high, it may be difficult to meet your needs.

The second factor in feeling lonely is the ability to self-regulate the emotions associated with feeling isolated. This means not just outwardly but deep inside. Each person will feel distress when their need for companionship is not fulfilled. If loneliness continues over time it can become a source of chronic upset. How well you manage those feelings affects the degree of pain you experience. If you are chronically upset, this makes you less able to evaluate other people's intentions accurately. You may perceive them as rejecting when they aren't.

Being able to accept and cope effectively with the feelings of loneliness, manage the feelings without becoming judgmental of yourself or others, and find ways to problem-solve will help mitigate the damage loneliness can do.

The third factor is mental representations and expectations of as well as reasoning about others. Feeling lonely does not mean you have deficient social skills, but apparently feeling lonely makes people less likely or able to use the skills they have. People who feel lonely are likely to perceive themselves as doing all they can to make friends and to find a sense of belonging and also believe that no one is responding.

What a frustrating experience that would be and after a time that frustration may affect their mood when they are around others. They may make negative statements and start to blame others if someone criticizes them. Their loneliness may be expressed in anger or resentment which often results in others pulling away.

Sometimes lonely people have difficulty because they view themselves as inadequate or unworthy. Shame about who you are will block making connections with others.

People who have been lonely for a long time may also be afraid, for many different reasons. Fear of attack by others leads to a tendency to withdraw and not share their authentic selves, though at the same time if no one knows who they really are they will stay lonely. Their body language may reflect the lack of confidence and misery they feel and their facial expressions may be uninviting to others, though they may be unaware of their body language. At the very time they need connections, their manner may unintentionally communicate "stay away" to others.

When people become disregulated emotionally, then they lose a feeling of security. They may see dangers everywhere. They are less likely to be able to acknowledge someone else's perspective."

Full Artile here: https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pieces-mind/201301/accepting-loneliness

Now biblically, being alone is one of the worst things imaginable. If you're alone you're either rejecting God's love or have done something so terrible that you may have or will hear those terrible words "I never knew you." What is the true love we receive from Christ? Because there are some that are so wrong and practice horrible deeds who claim to feel his love, or claim that he commanded them so. Overcoming the adversary and his demons is not easy and if you're not strong enough you may never feel that love. It's a constant battle that we must all face to be one with the returned Christ Ra-El.

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