Why successful women fall into the trap of suffering

Successful business women are considered overbearing, independent and extremely self-confident.
At the same time, high personal standards often become the cause of a dysfunctional personal life: accustomed to the fact that success comes at the cost of hard work, many of them unknowingly choose problem partners.
Successful women know their worth, because all their lives they overcome difficulties and work, sparing no energy. But sometimes, in an independent and imperious way, endless pain hides.

They feel uneasy, if everything goes smoothly in life - too unusual sensation. Therefore, they begin to “wind up” themselves: “you are not capable of anything”, “everyone sees how insignificant you are,” “all the men in your life are the same as your dad, and in the end they will also leave you.” Opening this spiral of negativity is difficult, but possible. All that such a woman needs is to gradually become more condescending to herself, at least 1% per day.
Purposeful women live in constant combat readiness. They have learned: in order to succeed, you must constantly make efforts. Not surprisingly, the same logic carries over into a romantic relationship.

Unfortunately, that is why they are so often attracted to toxic partners: life experience has taught that you can achieve the result only through hard work. They are investing more and more in relationships, despite the fact that returns are not visible.
A woman does not want to get rid of this anxiety, but, on the contrary, sinks deeper into it, because this is a long-familiar condition
For an active and active nature, the state of rest is unbearable. It would be nice for them to do yoga, but yoga does not suit them. In essence, nothing suits them. Their style is to race at full speed. In fact, they are fleeing from despair, a burden of great responsibility is pressing on them, but to stop and take a break is even worse.

Many of them do not realize that work at the limit of possibilities takes the form of masochism. Successful women use it as a kind of punishment to cause anxiety in themselves.

Very often, the roots of this behavior are found in early childhood: for example, the father left the family when the girl was five years old, and she decided that this happened because of her. A young, fragile mind is very susceptible to such traumatic events.

If the injury has not been worked out, whenever a woman lets someone in, an image of the departing father pops up in her memory. This is called separate anxiety and makes you think that the next partner will leave her too, no matter how much he swears otherwise. Paradoxically, she does not want to get rid of this anxiety, but, on the contrary, plunges into it deeper and deeper, because this condition has long been familiar and understandable

Nevertheless, one can free oneself from the trap of negative attitudes. Everything is decided by a conscious choice: stop scolding yourself and learn how to transform thinking. Although it is very difficult to refuse that your whole life has been a part of you.