Why You Need To Make Peace With Yourself

You will always be stuck with you

I drive quite a lot, usually to the middle of nowhere. In the middle of nowhere most of the time there is nothing, no cellphone or radio reception and noting interesting to see. This forces you to look inward and to explore the deepest corners of your mind a bit, it gives you time to process everything and teaches you to live with yourself.

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I have met so many people that have to be around someone to be happy. Living this way is such an unnecessary burden, every time you are alone you start being sad for some or another reason. Being alone should not be a sad time, it should be seen as a time for growth or inward reflection. Once you make peace with yourself and your situation it frees up so much of your time. Time that was usually spent on wondering if people like you or if you are good enough. Other peoples' perception of you should not determine your worth, your worth can only be determined by you.

Being and INTJ (introverted) it was often difficult for me to be in crowds or speak in front of people, even if it was small groups. I really lacked the confidence to speak to people and to confront them, mainly because I thought less of myself than I did of them. I was sort of forced to overcome this in my line of work, I have to confront people on a daily basis and have to speak in meetings with people running multi-million dollar projects. I got better at this because I started speaking to the people one on one and then I realized that they are also just people. They also complained about how expensive it was to get their children through school, how they got stuck in traffic and how horrible the new boss is. Once you realize that they are only just people it makes it a lot easier to talk and to relate to them.

Awkwardness

When I was younger, every time I heard someone laugh in public I would be afraid and think they were laughing at me. Being awkward is a state of mind, something is only awkward if you react to it awkwardly. I have realized that in most cases if you do something weird or awkward in front of someone and you cringe they will start laughing. But, if you were to laugh with them and embrace it, it will pass much quicker and in most cases the person laughing will have a fond and not an embarrassing memory of it. Rather steer into the skid, just go with it, sometimes you can even make the person feel uncomfortable for laughing is they see that you are not embarrassed.

If it is someone in public then even better, it is most likely someone that you will never ever see again and if you see them then it is an interesting conversation starter.

Self Improvement

Always try to learn from an awkward or embarrassing situation, try and adapt the way you respond the next time. With enough practice a default response to a situation can be changed, it can be molded over time. Do not dwell on past mistakes, see them as opportunities to learn something about yourself and your fellow man. Choose who and what you want to be and work towards it, the only person limiting you is you. I know circumstances can be tough but the sooner you accept the circumstances the sooner you can move on to something better.

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