F'ed in the A by our Apparent Niceness

There are some rather interesting things happening in Britain, and some other "first world" countries. It seems that, in everyone's attempts to appear to be nice people, we're accepting and allowing behaviours and experiences in others that are, simply put, batshit crazy.

Let's break this down a bit, shall we:

We secretly judge different people for different things, but we know that sharing those judgements will lead to us being judged in turn. So we keep what we really think to ourselves, and say/do/appear to believe all the "right" things that will lead to social acceptance. Politicians are a great example of this - putting on a great big smile and saying all the things that people want to hear in order to gain approval (votes). The truth of their natures, however, is seldom reflected in their public stance.

So we walk around with evil in our hearts and smiles on our faces.

What is super interesting about all of this, is how we will then tolerate all the weird things that other people say and do in order to have our own weird things tolerated. We go around saying "Hey don't judge that person for that, they're just being true to themselves!" - Now in a lot of scenarios I would absolutely agree with that - to each his own, right? But things are getting a little (way) out of hand. Sexualizing young children? Saying that it's OK for a child to undergo gender reassignment therapy and surgeries? Saying it's OK for an adult to have sex with a baby or young child?

It's like we have implemented this collective social agreement of: If you validate my limitations, I'll validate yours - but if you reject mine, I'll make sure the world HATES you. And yes, even things like sexualization of children come down to us accepting our limitations as beliefs, experiences, perceptions, automated reaction patterns - all those things that would be so difficult to change, so we choose rather to justify them.

There is a very definite difference between common sense and trying to justify even the bizarre. There is a misalignment in how we are living the word Acceptance. Acceptance doesn't mean that we blindly accept everything about ourselves and each other, laying the responsiblity of who we are at the feet of some creator, or "just who I am". Acceptance doesn't mean that we justify the worst of ourselves as being a part of human nature, and therefore OK to just keep on living, no need to change.

If we were to live acceptance in this way in our relationships, we would watch our partner, friends, family, and everyone we love and care about, continue to live and accept their worst. If they sabotage themselves over and over - well that's OK, that's just who they are.

But that's not the best way to honour another person's potential. We honour each other by calling each other out on our BS. We honour each other by sharing and showing where and how we could be better. We honour each other by standing together to face the worst in us, and transform it into something that is best for us and for all.

If we keep trying to be nice, trying to be liked, trying to fake our way through every part of this life, trying to avoid being judged for our freaky/nasty/mean/spiteful/etc thoughts, trying to make everything OK (even when it's not), we're just going to end up looking back on our lives and at the world with sadness, shame, and regret - because we got lost in that fake niceness, and lost our chance to truly shine as the best versions of ourselves, having overcome our limitations rather than having basked in them and held onto them with all our might.