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RE: About suicidal‼️➖first part
I am not sure you understand. My step parents messed up my my brain and my feelings and I almost killed myself because of too many lines. Being on that age, I was naive, and after one year, after all of that nightmare, I find out she is alive. The only person who knew my mum 's address was that auntie. Not long time ago I find out she run away with her 2 children in Italy, after she left her husband to die of illness and hunger in the house. I want to leave everything this way. I want to change my future, not my past
Understand what you are saying and feel for you. Wouldn't take the time otherwise.
Do some reading on the subject of trying to leave the past in the past vs dealing with it. There are great books out there from people who are much smarter then myself and have spent their lives into understanding the brain and what needs to be dealt with vs what can be ignored. You will gain a better insight into yourself and others you meet.
You are still very young and have a lifetime of potential happiness ahead of you.