Permanent brain damage from Escitalopram

So I have been taking Lexapro since my early teenage years, and am now in my early 20's and beginning to wean myself off them. Starting from the beginning of 2017, I have been cutting down 5mg (from 30mg) every 2 months, and am now completely off of it (sort of). After about 3 days from the date i stopped taking it, I began to feel frequent episodes (more than half of the day) of hardcore depression, and feelings of pointlessness, nihilism and even fear.

It got so bad that I had to eat 6grams of some red kratom just to be able to fall asleep from a major migraine, it felt as though somebody was grabbing and yanking my head all around. There were "zaps" going up and down my body, very similar to the delirious feeling diphanhydramine can give you if taken in excessive amounts. I am now at a point where I'm not sure if I will ever be able to fully wean myself off of this. I h ad to take 5mg to stop withdrawals. This drug seems to have caused permanent brain damage, and without it I can hardly function.

This is a warning to anybody considering going on SSRI medications for any reason, make sure you understand when your doctor tells you not to stop taking them because your conditions will worsen. Understand that this is probably because your frontal lobe has been totally fried, and your brain cannot function like it did before, it needs to be told where to send the signals (through use of medication). Again, I believe these medications are causing PERMANENT brain damage, they are like lobotomies in pill form.

I'm hoping and praying that through the use of psychedelics (micro-dosing) I can begin to form new pathways in my brain that will help me feel normal again without the need to use these pills. Wish me luck, and if there is anybody else out there suffering from potential brain damage caused by SSRI medications please I would love to hear your story and understand your stance on the matter. Thank you everybody and have a wonderful day!