Notes on prostitutes | Part one

Hello!

I have been a fan of this resource for a long time and finally decided to make a cessation too. Two things prompted me to this decision:
1.steemit pursues not only an entertaining, but also an educational goal for our society.

1. The phrase "Prostitute" Nightmare "". At first glance, there is nothing common in these things, but this is only the first.
   Long ago, when the "crisis" did not sound from every iron every 5 minutes, I was not burdened by relationships and spent every weekend in the company of friends, alcohol, hookahs and other attributes of the young raspy. So, sometimes these weekends were accompanied by visiting saunas and calling out evil spirits (do not worry, just prostitutes, but some were true, and they will be discussed). I will write 3 cases of my "nightmares".

2. We sat somehow with a friend at his apartment and celebrated Friday, and now pretty loaded with us came the realization that our drunken souls and brains demand to open a newspaper and dial the number of any leisure office. For a long time they did not think, they opened a newspaper and chose the usual number of the type "I'll come to visit a man", "Hot blonde", etc. Actually it was necessary to wait. Usually the wait is about an hour. I do not know why, but somehow always, when the priestesses of love came (it sounds funny), but I was sent to the "lookout" ... I do not know, but to choose / negotiate / pay sent me, but I did not resist, everything Yet this responsibility is not small, for himself and for that guy, as they say. But not this time ... Just before the ladies had to come, I was wildly wanted to go to the toilet. I'm actually standing there, I'm sorry, I'm celebrating a little need, and I hear a bell at the door ... My friend went to open and here I hear a scream: "Urgently go here !!!", and wild rzhach. What could go wrong ??? What happened? I slip out the bullet and head for the front door. Behind the door, on the court stands a lady, in appearance 50 years, height 150, weight about the same, that is a typical "mommy", which usually bring girls. But, looking at the fucking friend, I began to understand that there was something unclean. I say "Hello, and where are the girls?", To which they answer me, in an absolutely imperturbable tone: "We are girls" ... And at this moment another copy with the same anthropometric data is rolled out from the elevator side, and differed from the first only Presence of mustaches. Seconds I was in a light shock, but then all the same correctly denied the ladies a visit, which he received in return: "Well, pi.ry, half a city fumbled" Let's go, still vmazhem! ".

3. The second "nightmare." This story is probably not so funny, but it's unfortunately true, and why you will unfortunately find out now.
   Once with a company visiting a number of entertainment places we decided to go to the sauna. We arrived in a pretty good place, besides, a couple of times already there have been. They ordered pizza, took a lot of vodka after and continued the evening, more precisely the night. Of course at the height of the fun someone remembered about the prostitutes and I went to the administrator. By the way, from the outside, everything that the author of "Notes of the administrator of the sauna" described everything is true. I approached and asked to arrange for us three ladies, the administrator nodded and an hour later we had several girls in the hall, we left three, paid off and continued the feast. When my friends went to rest rooms, I stayed alone with the lady and we also decided to start actually what they were for (why are they there, too) here? The girl undressed, she had a very chic figure and a big chest, which did not fit even in her proportion, because she herself was slim and short. After we started to get down to business, she said to me: "Just do not press the chest hard.", I asked: "Why?", Her answer killed me "Milk can pour !!!" .... YOUR MOTHER !!! That's what was in my head. Naturally, about any continuation of the speech and could not be, I dressed and we went to the hall. I started to thump and just talk to her. Well, as it turned out, everything is typical and prosaic ... The guy threw / gave birth / there is no money, etc ... I went for a very long time afterwards, like a knacker after this incident, did not fit like a nursing mother who just gave birth to doing so. .. But this is a completely different matter.

4. The third "nightmare" This story happened on my birthday. They marked a large company and rented a three-room apartment. It just so happened that I have one of my friends dr in one day. It is very convenient, the savings are always, at marking, exactly 2 times. So, my friend of the size is very impressive (growth of 2 meters, weight 100) very quickly always manages to get drunk and does not stop until it falls. To make him a surprise, I decided to call him a prostitute (expensive) as a gift for others. He is a rather shy person and he had only a drunk conversation with a weak sex. Well, in order not to run twice, they summoned a second girl-for me. The girls arrived, pretty nice, but one of them ("gift") was a little drunk, but this is a common theme for the representatives of this craft. I retired to one of the rooms, my friend too, and ..... in 15 minutes I heard a wild cry, not just a cry, but cries, requests for help. Screamed the girl, but what could go wrong ?? She screamed as if she were being killed. I already thought about where we would hide the corpse of a prostitute, and for what my friend decided to kill her ?? Hastily dressed and went to them in the room in front of me was this picture: On the couch in the corner lies my friend and snoring, and from under him sticks out the lower part of the girl and jerks feet. Bl.t., something like stirring and moving it, I freed the girl and apologizing, led to the door. It turns out that this original, during coition, just fell asleep, yes yes !! Right on her, and so it turned out that her hands were under her back and she could not move them, and to move the drunken limp carcase even to me it was hard, what to say about the lady.
   Such are the stories, if it will be interesting to remember something else, if there are any questions, I will try to answer them.