How to intellectually justify being a nasty controlling person.

https://lawliberty.org/shouting-your-pronouns-in-a-crowded-theater

The author is right that "pronoun advocates" go too far. It's simply not reasonable to expect a college prof who may have dozens or hundreds of students to remember everyone's pronouns when they either do not obviously conform to the (barely known) student's external appearance or especially in the case of someone preferring non-standard/recently-invented pronouns.

(But note that the author appears to have lied about a proposed Michigan hate crimes bill, falsely saying it would criminalize using someone's dispreferred pronouns.)

But this article is ultimately a pretend philosophical justification for indulging one's desire to treat transgender people disrespectfully.

It's not really asking that much to treat someone as the gender they request you to treat them as. It's basic civility in the vast majority of cases.

Alexandria becoming Alexander does not threaten civilization or create a risk of harm to others. Insisting on continuing to call Alexander "her" because you personally disapprove is selfish and unsociable at best.

Just be kind and generous.