My Promo-Mentors Writing Challenge (Letting Go)

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Have you ever felt like you were not aging and the earth had suddenly stopped rotating taking all your troubles with it. This was what maria's presence in my life did for me. Everyday I had the courage to wake up and face life because I wasn't doing it alone. Maria was the reason I worked hard, the reason I stayed disciplined, the reason for my focus and the definition of love in my own books. I had never met someone so caring, kind and understanding and if nothing else I wanted forever with maria.

I guess we never get what we want, Maria found love in a better place, packed her bags and headed for Eden. My once blooming world soon became the Sahara. Misery and loneliness set in and even in the heat of a party with friends all I wanted was Maria.

Barely a month after the break up, she was already with the new guy, with me having to purchase a magnifying glass to look for the pieces of my broken heart. Now, I used to be a self willed guy who radiated confidence but here I was, a wreck. I almost lost my job because I couldn't concentrate for weeks and spent many days crying in the proud loneliness of my sad apartment.

Four months passed since the break up but I couldn't help but maintain contact. I found myself stalking her and her friends on all social media platforms watching for the moment she would post a picture with the new guy.And soon enough she did! Oh the joy of looking at the person you wanted to be with for the rest of your life happily holding on to someone else with smiles you never knew existed, how cruel could life be? I endured this torture hoping that she would one day come to her senses and want me back although I had promised myself I would never take her back – the paradox of human nature, right?. But it just ended up hurting me more. I soon realized it was more a never than ever condition so I cut contacts.

I was finally able to let go of the relationship but carried the hurt, pain and bitterness. You see I didn't forgive her for leaving me (which is her right of choice). Every time love was mentioned I would use her to set a bad example and ensured I proved that love was a scam and no matter how beautiful it may look it will fade away.

While surfing the Internet on a sunny afternoon during a work break I came across this zen story in a book by Jon J. Muth and the story goes,

Two traveling monks reached a town where there was a young woman waiting to step out of her sedan chair. The rains had made deep puddles and she couldn't step across without spoiling her silken robes. She stood there, looking very cross and impatient. She was scolding her attendants. They had nowhere to place the packages they held for her, so they couldn't help her across the puddle.
The younger monk noticed the woman, said nothing, and walked by. The older monk quickly picked her up and put her on his back, transported her across the water, and put her down on the other side. She didn't thank the older monk, she just shoved him out of the way and departed.
As they continued on their way, the young monk was brooding and preoccupied. After several hours, unable to hold his silence, he spoke out. “That woman back there was very selfish and rude, but you picked her up on your back and carried her! Then she didn't even thank you!
“I set the woman down hours ago,” the older monk replied. “Why are you still carrying her?”.

After reading that story, I realized I was still in a relationship, a hate relationship with someone who had nothing to do with me than a past and I had to let go. It felt so good to finally experience true peace and I realized that truly letting go protected me from the chronic anger and bitterness that was sapping my energy and creativity. All this anger had me stuck in my past which made me unavailable in the present.

The burden was off my shoulder and it took just a short zen story to do that. Most people who survive emotional wreckage just move on and forget there are others out there who are going through what they went through and need a word or two from their experience to move on. Doing a little goes a longer way than doing nothing.