My Promo-Mentors Writing Challenge - Two Mothers.

Isn't it scary to know that anytime could be the last time you'll talk to someone?

My two mothers, taken during my wedding day.

I grew up in a small family - Mother, Father, 2 sisters and me. My mother and I were really close that other mistakenly thought I was her favorite. I wasn't. I just happened to know how to tell her everything, I don't keep secrets from her. She did everything for me and my siblings. There wasn't a day we spent apart.

That all changed when due to financial constraints, she decided to work abroad. I was 11 years old. All of a sudden, I had to do everything on my own. The adjustment was a challenge. I had to learn to do everything she did for me. I also had to learn not to be sad everytime I come home and not see her waiting for me. It was childish. It took me a while to realize it was hard for her to be away too. Even harder for her because she was alone.

As I went on with my life content with knowing that I'm just counting down days till I receive a letter from my mother, or days till she comes home, a terrible news came. Three years after my mother left for France, the Philippine Embassy in Paris called us directly on the phone. I specifically remember that afternoon when I came home from school. Everyone was in the living room, crying and I had no idea what they were crying about. It turns out, the consul to the Philippine Embassy called to ask our family to arrange everything so we can fly to Paris ASAP. My mother, alone in a foreign country was battling stage 4 breast cancer. Her doctors were no longer seeing hope so they requested family members to come over to still see her alive.

Breast Cancer? Stage 4? I had many questions. She left Philippines a very healthy woman. We were constantly exchanging letters to keep each other updated. This weren't mentioned in any of those letters. Why her? Why now? Why?

It appeared that she didn't want us to know, because she didn't want us to worry. It will also be a good topic of gossip amongst people from back here. I will never understand her reasons but now, I am just thankful that more than a decade since her doctors declared her case hopeless, she has been cancer free.

Fast forward to 2007, I met Jonah. When we started dating, I didn't see much of her mother. She must've mentioned on some of our posts that her mother, my mother in law was a very busy woman. But, the first time we saw each other, we instantly clicked. She turned out to be a sister from my fraternity's sorrority. She was funny, intelligent, kind. She immediately made me feel like her own son. There was never a day I'd come by their place and not feel welcome. She truly felt like my own mother.

The year me and Jonah got married was the same year my Mother in law was diagnosed with failing kidneys. It was due to underlying causes that she has been suffering from for a long time. She was diabetic, her medications eventually caused her other organs to fail. Mom number 2 passed on in 2011.

I saw how hard it was for my wife to see her mother slowly being beaten by sickness. I questioned whether I was lucky not to witness the same when my mother was sick. I don't know. All I'm sure was, was the fact that I suffered sadness too when I saw my mother in law fight for her life.

My mother and my mother in law are amongst the three women I admire most. Still having my mother is a blessing, it taught me how to value the opportunity of being able to work alongside my own family. Not having to be far to earn enough to raise my kids. She taught me how to be strong and how to sacrifice every once in a while to be able to provide for the ones you love. My mother in law's death taught me more than anything else to appreciate everyone in your life - whether they are nice to you or not. I learned to forgive, to let others in, to be kind. I kept in mind, this could always be my last day, I shouldn't fill my heart with worries and hatred.

As the song says, "Should be so careful who we left out of our lives, And when we long for absolution, there will be no one on the line."

Thanks for reading!

Love,
John (and Jonah)