Who you are in private is who you are.

If somebody ever says, "Oh, that was just a private moment in my private life, everybody has these terrible moments behind the scenes," you should immediately grab a heaping helping of red flags.

The real Wizard of Oz was not the illusion but the man behind the curtain.

Not, not everybody is terrible to people outside of the public eye. Those who defend themselves by saying everybody behaves that way in a conflict are lying to themselves. They may even believe it, but it's not true.

If you're crappy to employees, oppressed people, "friends," spouses, family, or whoever else behind closed doors, you are being crappy to them in real life.

Because there is nothing more real than the version of you when you think nobody else is watching.