My Pregnancy Story - 5 Month Postpartum

5 months ago, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl.

14 months ago, I became pregnant.

Today, I am reminiscing about my time being pregnant.

-- I thought being pregnant was this MAGICAL thing that woman endure, every month you take cute photos of your baby bump and post them on all your social media platforms, you go every month wanting to eat healthy and drink tons of water, & you read all these blogs, stories of other pregnant women or mothers who SWOON over how amazing and beautiful pregnancy is/was

I WAS NOT THAT WOMAN!

I did not enjoy being pregnant in the slightest! just so my partner knows even though I didn't like it, id do it again

I was not miserable the entire time, it's not like I was sick the entire time or forcing my partner to go and buy me chocolate covered frozen bananas in the middle of the night. I just did not enjoy the overall part of being pregnant. For me, and most other woman, I got sick in the 1st trimester. Personally, I think the only reason I was getting sick was because I had a slight cough/cold at the time, and whenever I coughed, I coughed to hard to the point of wanting to puke, so to this day I'm not sure I can put pregnancy sickness and having a cold into the same category.

some people, including me sometimes... might say I had a pretty easy pregnancy. Not much sickness, but let me tell you, the being tired part IS REAL! I was constantly tired & always wanting to nap, I mean it is pretty freaking exhausting growing a human being inside my body! I got the odd headache here and there and tried my best not to take any medications for it and instead just attempted to sleep it off.

you are constantly worried about EVERYTHING! I love sushi, but you cant eat sushi, you cant eat raw fish. I love to eat fish in general, like fried, battered fish, but I couldn't eat that either, mostly they just tell you to stay away from "high mercury" fish, but still... those are the best kinds?! COLD CUTS! cold cuts are legit my entire life. #meatandcheese, but there can be listeria or nitrates that aren't good for baby. Soft cheeses, my love of cheese varies from Old Cheddar, Brie, Feta, Cream... but BRIE... BRIE CHEESE, oh and don't even get me started on the Goat cheese. My partner makes delicious Bruschetta in the summer time and he tops it off with goat cheese on a cracker, but unfortunately I couldn't have that either. Last but not least, caffeine. Caffeine makes baby crazy! haha! well I am fueled by coffee so I tried to limit that as much as I could but my baby turned out perfectly fine!

The day we took our Maternity photos, was a day that also changed my thinking a little bit as well. Running around our property at the farm in -40 probably -45 with the Windchill trying our best to take cute AF photos, they turned out so beautifully that the love I have for my partner and my unborn child at the time, was out of this planet. It turned a switch in my brain to try my best to finally embrace everything, and that was about 8 ish months pregnant.

let me remind all of you and my partner at this point, I still would do it all again, and ill tell you why at the end

The final thing I would like to mention is that, I struggled with my weight my entire life. I was that girl that looked in the mirror, and told herself and everyone around her that she was fat. I was extremely hard on myself and it started at a very young age. Being pregnant didn't help that much because I was getting …"fat". Now, I know if your a mother and your reading this, you might disagree with me to the point of saying "but you are growing a human" and yes, I understand that, but it didn't change that fact I didn't feel sexy anymore, or pretty... Those girls that take their monthly bump update photos to share on Facebook… I didn't take any! actually, that's a lie, I finally felt pregnant at about 7 or 8 months pregnant and I took a couple photos which I will share below.

now that I am 5 months postpartum, I look back and kinda feel disappointed in myself for thinking those things. Like most people would say" you GREW a freaking human!" if I was to get pregnant again, I might do things a little differently this time and embrace my weight gain, love myself more and def. take a few more photos then I did.

what triggered this post was when me and my partner were lying in bed talking about our 5 month old's sleeping habits atm, we got on the topic of "I guess we have to put the bassinet in storage now" and how for the past 3 months I've been putting clothing of hers in boxes and it makes me sad. THIS ONE TIME, I tried putting her in one of my fav. outfits she had, just to see if it fit her again, hoping that it would so I could get one more time of her in it. But unfortunately it did not, and I moved on. Makes me think I want to have another little babe, & guess what??? I would 100% put myself through all that again, just to be so damn rewarded at the end of it, with a little, tiny, cute, beautiful human being! Bringing life into this world is terrifying based on the world that we currently life in, but one thing my partner also likes to say is "now is the greatest time to be alive due to all the technology and how far things like science have come". He is 100% true! so yes, would I have a baby again? would I put myself thru pregnancy again even though I wasn't that fond of it?

Yes. I. Would.

…because... WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT FREAKING FACE?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

XOXO, MM