My Pregnancy Journey - Mid-Week 11. The twins are already draining my resources!!

It's a time of mixed emotions. I want to feel more excited than I do, but not being well enough to do anything makes it hard to feel excited, even so, I can not help but smile every time I look at my growing bump(s)!

It has been a very difficult few weeks. My day generally now consists of waking up to be sick, trying to eat and keep some medication down before I fall back to sleep in the hope that some of the nutrients may reach the babies, followed by either more sleep or sickness with odd twenty minutes here and there of forcing myself to do the things that just can not be ignored (Feed cats, Feed son, Wash clothes etc).

Don't get me wrong, I am lucky enough to have my partner Charlie around a lot of the time, and he does so much more than he has ever been used to doing since I have been unwell. I am actually very proud of him for looking after us. I hear so many people moaning and complaining about all the things their partner doesn't do, but I often wonder whether they look for the things that they do make effort with? It really is the little things that matter the most.

It is rather strange to be so sick, nauseous and vomiting, but so hungry and craving bad foods at the same time!? Literally the moment I have finished being sick my body is craving a fried greasy breakfast or KFC! Has anyone else ever experienced this? I do genuinely believe that you should give your body whatever it is that it craves as surely you have such an intense desire for that particular food for a reason?
Even if this is not the case, it certainly makes you feel better for a while whilst you are satisfying your cravings.

Luckily I am also genuinely craving fruit and vegetables.

I like to buy organic fruit and vegetables as much as possible, I like the knowledge of its natural growth and no nasty pesticides! It isn't always possible to purchase organic, it can be expensive in some places and there is a lack of supply in many places. But when it is possible to buy organic items I do so. If you genuinely do not like the taste of certain vegatables, smoothies really are a great way to get the nutrients without even tasting it. (See my previous pregnancy journal post for more ideas).
Recently I have been eating (mainly due to craving) carrots, apples, satsumas and clementines, banana, cabbage and broccoli. I have also been enjoying fruit juices, but having looked closer at the label many of them have bad ingredients, like aspartame, glucose syrup and other artificial ingredients that have serious compounding effects on the body.

(If you are interested in this and are not already familiar with the information, then you may find this video below useful which gives a basic insight into some of the things that are found in everyday foods that we all enjoy that should not be consumed by our bodies.)

This is old news, but I personally only learnt about this just over a year ago, so I would like to do my bit to share the knowledge to anyone else who doesn't yet realise how bad these artificial sweeteners are for you.

There are good foods and drinks out there that don't contain all of the bad stuff, but it can take a while to find them, and you do have to hunt around different stores sometimes.

I have my booking appointment with the midwife on Monday. I really hope I am well enough to leave the house, I have had to cancel so many appointments recently due to this HG illness. I feel so isolated from the world. I am usually out and about, busy like a bee, visiting everyone, running errands, days out with the children etc.... but for nearly 6 weeks now I have been unable to do very much at all.
I do hope these hormones settle soon and I get that 2nd trimester boost that I hear many women speak about! :D

On Wednesday is the dating scan. We will have a much clearer image of the babies, and they are going to be doing general tests to make sure everything is as it should be I suppose.

Even though I had a child 9 years ago, it is amazing how much I have forgotten about the process and the pregnancy and also how different things are now not even a decade later!

The hardest challenge I find myself facing at this point in the pregnancy is my mood. I have Bipolar Disorder and because of the sickness I am not keeping my medication down each time, this has definitely had a negative effect on my moods. It makes them rather more unpredictable than usual and quite over-sensitive to things that would not usually bother me. My anxiety has been quite high and my mood quite low.

In my opinion though, with the right support around me (which I am lucky enough to have) I believe it is better to be battling a low mood when pregnant than a high one. When someone is depressed, they don't do much. When someone is hyper-manic, the consequences of impulsive and reckless decisions can be quite severe.

I have felt movements in my tummy quite regularly over the last few days. It is very exciting. It feels like little flutters, inside tickles. It's amazing. I still can not believe there are two babies growing inside me!