Emptiness

There comes a time in a person's life, where in you can best be described as... Lost. Lost in the abyss of reality. Where you struggle to look back at the person you once were. You exist as a mere empty shell. The road that lies ahead ,seems seems as unclear and cloudy as the very thoughts in your head. We exist in a prison of our own making. Some try to break out on their own, others hope for a saviour of sorts who will magically appear and rescue us... Neither happen. Physically we go about in this everyday world, performing our daily tasks ,we have left our bodies in autodrive while our mind is somewhere far off. In a dark place stumbling and falling as we try to find our way back. We fall, we rise, we move ahead. Again and again. But for how long? How much more do we keep getting up? The dark floor on which we lie seems welcoming, it feels comfortable. The light is all but a memory we once had.

We remember how once we used to think how every thing's gonna turn out alright in the end. As if our dreams coming true was our birth right. We knew what we wanted to be. But life plays a different tune. Oh how easy it would be to just stay down until we are released by the soft hands of death. But there is something.

There is this feeling ,although faint it just feels... Off. It started as a spark. Then it got bigger. It isn't hope. This is a place where hope has since long left. It is not the light you were once looking for. It is much smaller. Like a candle flame. Once you notice it, it gets bigger and bigger, until it burns. It burns away everything that was filing the darkness. Pain, suffering, despair, anxiety, hopelessness... For a moment it is all burnt away.

You then wake up. You realize it was all a dream. You are back in the darkness of your mind. Nothing has changed, or has it?

There now lies the fire within. It hasn't died out, it was always there. I just didn't see it. In the light it was negligible, but here I am aware of its presence. My awareness of it has made it stronger.

Is this it? Is this my way back? Was that why I was lost? Because I looked outside, for help. I was so busy in looking for a light, I failed to see the fire within.

I still remain lost, I still remain within the abyss. But I now have this fire. Now I have a chance to find my way back. And for now it will have to do.