Portraiture, a way of expressing myself. (Self-Portrait series)
Today I'm sharing one of the many self-portraits, i took in the span of a few months. I Started taking self-portraits closely after my long break from Steemit. I originally started taking these portraits as a way of expressing not only myself, but also the feelings I hid from the outside world. I pretended that everything was ok for so long, while in my head, I was falling apart, losing myself in a headspace where everything was black.
Thoughts like "You ain't good enough" "Your work isn't on par with the other students" were floating through my head from dusk till dawn. Laying in bed, wide awake contemplating about everything that happened the day before, being that this was a recurring theme day after day often resulted in feeling like a train-wreck in the morning.
While this dates back from a couple of months ago, i see these feelings return here and there. See, i'm a person that's never happy with what i create. If other people look at my work and like it that okey for me, but if i look back at my work i see nothing more then dissatisfaction. I'm the worst critic of myself, meaning i only see the bad in my own work. It's rare that i find myself liking my own work, more often then not is a small detail i like but (almost) never the picture as a whole.
Self-Portrait I
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I don't think it's important to love everything you produce, can it be more about the process of learning and getting better? Do you see your improvement? I can look back at old images and be thrilled that I am not making the same mistakes I once did. You have to enjoy making the art otherwise you wouldn't bother. I'd say focus on that.
I have a hard time finding improvement in my own work. While i do see some improvement in opposition to my older work, i still find it hard to feel satisfied with my own work. It seems like after i exported the picture and don't look at it for a day or two the appreciation i once had for the picture has totally disappeared. I get over my pictures really quick..