Mechanisms Towards Fear 面对恐惧的对策

"Jumping" out again from a series I'm currently attempting to complete, I'm posting on this topic today: Fear. I know some of you may have posted about this before, here is my little opinion on this matter and it is NOT a universal truth, just my two cents from my experiences. Feel free to add your opinions as well to this topic, for I can never have it fully covered.

如果你有所不知，我目前很努力地在完成一个系列。不过，今天的我却要po个与我的系列看似没关的帖: 恐惧。我相信对于这个课题，应该有不少人讨论过，我只是想加入我小小的意见。

I'm neither a fear-busting expert nor someone who is without fear. In fact, I think I'm one with many kinds of fear, which is why I want to learn to overcome fear. There are so many fears in the world that there are specific names to each, which you may refer here.

我既不是一个懂得击败恐惧的专家，也不是一个无惧的人。其实我觉得我是一个有很多恐惧的人，所以我要学会克服应对它。我觉得应该没有人能称自己是个完全无惧的人吧！更何况，世界上有那么多种恐惧，每个还有特定的名称，有些恐惧还真的得遇着了才知道自己可能有这方面的害怕。若想多了解，你可以点击这里 。

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This is definitely not a straightforward topic to talk about because there are many dimensions to it and it can be situational. Sometimes, it may not be much of a fear but it is rather a preference that we don't want to take. I wouldn't say any of your fears is invalid because I'm not in your shoes and neither are you in mine. However, what I'm more concerned with is how we "tackle" fear.

这绝对不是一个直截了当的课题，因为它有很多不同的层次，可以说是得按照情况来判断。有时候，害怕的事并不是什么大不了的事情，而是我们不愿意接受的一种偏好。我不会说你的恐惧是无效的，因为这绝对是因人而异。不过，我更关心的是我们如何“面对”恐惧。

I once heard someone said that F-E-A-R is
F- False
E- Evidence
A- Appearing
R- Real
They look real and sound real.

我曾经听过有人说恐惧是看起来好像很真实的假象，有时还真的让人难以分辨。

Be Honest: Acknowledge it 诚实：承认它

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The first thing to do when there is fear within us is to acknowledge it and be honest with ourselves. I have come across people who deny their fears, strongly and refuse to identify them. Hmm, I think denial is a great hindrance for a breakthrough in fear. If we could be honest about it and perhaps let it be exposed to the light, our process of "healing" has started. Fears can come from many ways: a trauma, a false belief, an unfamiliar happening etc. It is OKAY to be afraid. If you think that running away can be effective, you may try hahaha.

当内心有恐惧时，要做的第一件事就是承认它，对自己诚实。我遇到了那些否认恐惧的人，强烈地拒绝面对自己。我认为承认是可以突破恐惧的障碍。如果我们可以诚实地对待它，也许将它暴露，我们的“治愈”过程就已经开始了。恐惧可能来自许多方面：创伤，错误的信念，不熟悉的事情发生等。其实害怕是无罪的。但是如果你认为逃跑是有效的，你可以尽管试试看，哈哈哈。

Kill Off the Urge to Prove to Yourself You are not Afraid if You Still Are 别在还在害怕的时候，试着证明给自己已经不再害怕

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Give ourselves time for this process and don't rush to counter fear with something else, just to prove to ourselves that we no longer fear it. Don't use all of our energy to focus on fighting it. That would only enhance and magnify the fear even more. It would be as if we are motivated by fear. Instead, have a game plan in our mind to know what to react or respond, if we know what our fears are and we could focus on being powerful to calm ourselves down. We can believe that even in the midst of fear, we can be powerful and not totally paralyzed. Remember to pat yourself when you make even just a little progress as you gradually allow yourself to be exposed to the fear. Always reflect and check on yourself. One day, we will realize we dare to look at that fear eyeball to eyeball and we can still be the ones powerful in that situation, not crippled totally by that particular fear.

别为了证明我们不再害怕而急于用别的东西来抵制恐惧。克服恐惧是一个需要时间的过程。不要用我们所有的精力去集中精力去打击它。这只会增加和放大恐惧。这就好像我们被恐惧带领着过活。相反的，如果我们知道我们的恐惧是什么，我们可以专注于让自己冷静下来。那么我们可以为自己做心理准备，以便知道面临这个恐惧时如何反应或做出反应。我们可以相信，即使在恐惧之中，我们也可以变得主动而不是被它搞得完全瘫痪似的。当你逐渐让自己面对恐惧而有所进步时，记得要鼓励一下自己，并做出反思看看自己的状态。有一天，我们会意识到，我们敢于眼睁睁直视那恐惧。如果在那种情况下，我们依然可以不被那个恐惧吞噬，那么它就真的已经对我们没有威胁了！

I once had a friend who is afraid of tattoos. In order to prove to herself she no longer is afraid of that, she wanted to engrave one for herself. I don't think that fear is overcome and she regrets it. Not here to comment if tattoo is appropriate or not. It is just for this particular friend, she tried to purposely do some thing she herself doesn't approve of and she is afraid of.

我曾经有一个害怕纹身的朋友。为了证明自己给自己看她不再害怕，她想为自己刻上一个。我不认为这种恐惧已被克服，果然她后悔了。(不是针对有纹身的人，而是我朋友"克服"的方法。）

Overcome Fear with Something Stronger 以更大的能量克服恐惧

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Perfect love casts out fear. 1 John 4:18
爱里没有惧怕；爱既完全，就把惧怕除去。因为惧怕里含着刑罚，惧怕的人在爱里未得完全。《约翰1书4章18节》

Believe or not, we aren't supposed to use our efforts to drive out fear. By doing that, we may create a false security, which is like a bubble that may burst one day when it hits a sharper needle. Doing anything out of fear would be the worst way of living, because in the end, the consequences may backbite us.

信不信，我们不应该用我们的努力来驱除恐惧。通过这样做，我们可能只是在创造一个虚假的安全感。就像一个泡沫，当它有一天碰到一个尖锐的针头时肯定会爆发。就像太极一样，以柔制刚，而不是硬碰硬。任何源自于恐惧而做的事情就像是自己挖了个坑，再跳了进去，因为往往恐惧的“推动力”会演变成“杀伤力”，惹祸上身，最后搞得一塌糊涂，还得收拾残局。

Let me give you a comparison or an illustration to understand this. It's just like a shadow would vanish in the presence of light, so light is obviously the stronger substance. I personally believe that love is stronger than fear because love is NOT SCARED of fear. In the presence of love, fear has to diminish. The next time you are afraid of something, love yourself, get yourself surrounded by people you love.

让我给你打个比方来说明这一点。就像影子会在光线下消失，因此说明了光明显是更强的物质。我个人认为，爱比恐惧更强烈，因为在爱里，必须有勇气，根本容纳不下惧怕。在爱的面前，就算有少少的恐惧，我们还是会迈出勇敢的一步。下一次你害怕某件事时，要记得先爱好自己，并让自己被你所爱的人包围。得到了完整的爱，给足自己一些时间，就会有勇气去应对了。

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The greatest movie I have watched about taking courage in the midst of fear is After Earth by Will Smith and his son. Gotten this quote from here

曾经，我看过了一步电影，叫做After Earth，听了这么一句名言，让我印象深刻。

Fear is not real. The only place that fear can exist is in our thoughts of the future. It is a product of our imagination, causing us to fear things that do not at present and may not ever exist. That is near insanity. Do not misunderstand me the danger is very real but fear is a choice.
~Will Smith, After Earth

恐惧有时并不是真实的。恐惧存在的地方就在于我们对未来幻想的空间里。这是产生于我们的想象力，使我们害怕目前不存在的事物，也或许是永远不可能存在的事物。这是疯狂的。不要误解我，危险是非常真实的，但恐惧是一种选择。

Having a greater and stronger purpose in mind to save his father, the son went into a world that he may be fearful of but he held on to his vision - to recover an alien he accidentally released and signal for help.

以挽救他的父亲为目的，他的儿子进入了一个他可能会害怕的世界，但他依然坚持了自己的使命 - 收回一个他不小心释放的外星动物并寻求帮助。

Take Courage, My Heart 鼓起内心中的勇气

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Courage is not the opposite of fear. It is doing things in the midst of fear. This would be a lifelong experience and we will get a better hang of it each time. Courage is actually within us, sometimes it comes out for a greater cause.

勇气不是惧怕的对比，而是在害怕的时候所具有的一股力量。这可是一堂得用尽毕生来上的课，而我们也自然会熟能生巧。其实， 勇气一直都埋存在我们当中，往往需要一些强大的推动将它挖掘出来。

I will always remind myself how much I hate cockroaches and I barely want to touch them. However, when I think that they may touch my son, I would suddenly be able to have the courage to kill them before they have the chance to come near him. This is to remind me when there is a greater cause, fear is out of the consideration. Will I catch a cockroach to look at it to make sure I'm no longer afraid? Definitely NO! I don't need to prove that to myself that way, heheheh!

就像我不喜欢也会有点害怕蟑螂，但一旦它出现在我儿子的面前，我也会不管三七二十一，消灭它，不让它靠近我儿半步。这是为了提醒我，当我有更大的顾虑或愿景时，恐惧仿佛失去了它的效应。我会捕捉一只蟑螂来与它对望，以证明我不再害怕吗？绝对不会！一听就知道那是个不可思议的做法！

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I think it is common and okay to have fear in our lives. What we do with fear, is the BIGGER question: Do we let fear dictate and lead us into our actions?

我认为在我们的生活中有恐惧是正常的，更是难免的。 更大的问题， 应该是：我们是否让恐惧引导我们的行动？

Thank you for letting me share some of my thoughts on this topic. Remember, what I have shared are from my experiences and is not the FINAL truth. Feel free to shed some light with me too! 感谢您让我分享一些关于此主题的想法。 请记住，我分享的内容来自于我的经历，而不是最终的定论。欢迎您也前来分享您的高见！

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