Utterly Confused News: When It's So Painfully Obvious....
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You know when the shit hits the fan sometimes it just better to leave it alone. Yesterday I couldn't stop giggling at a story carried on the National File. A sexually enticed politically connected story that'd make even Stormy Daniels blush. I was somewhat busier than normal the last few days but yesterday I took a couple minutes to trot on over to the National File to see if they had any intriguing headlines. A lot of times these lesser known sites grab onto and run with headlines other major news sources brush aside. The first headline I almost bypassed because I figured it was going to end up being one of those he said she said type deals.
EXCLUSIVE: Alabama Senate Contender Had Extramarital Affair, Exchanged Sexted About Anal Play - Ex Lover
Then I saw the byline to the headline....
“I didn’t strap anything on but I did have a butt plug. But yeah, he liked stuff up his ass, yeah.”
Well lets not be shy about it and get right down to the heart of the matter, by the second paragraph I was all in on this one.
Merrill enjoyed having his anus breached with sex toys, according to McPherson, who also said that Merrill used his government vehicle to visit her home and used his official phone to send text messages. McPherson said that she recorded herself having sex with the Secretary of State on one occasion.
I'd never heard there ever existed something called a butt plug and anus breaching was a whole new terminology to that bit of foray that by the third paragraph and a text later had me wanting to volunteer his guilty plea for him.....
Cesaire provided several screen shots of text messages between her and Merrill to NATIONAL FILE, as well as an image of Merrill taken while with her. Merrill also provided an image of a book about sex she says Merrill gave her during their affair. Merrill also posted a photo to his Facebook page, in which Cesaire is pictured with John Merrill in November 2018 at the Alabama State Capitol. Multiple sources deeply invested in Alabama politics confirmed the existence of the affair between Cesaire and John Merrill to NATIONAL FILE.
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The next paragraph could have been simplified into one sentence if she'd just said they did it every night of the week except an occasional Tuesday night when his wife didn't come back in town from work.
“It was July 2019, and then we’d just, he’d come over Sunday night, Monday night, sometimes Tuesday nights if she (his wife) didn’t come into town and stay in the apartment with him because he would have to be there with her. And mostly Wednesday and Thursday. Sunday, Monday, Wednesdays, and Thursdays, and then if he had a weekend…I stayed at his house twice. I went and spent the night, and then I slept in her bed and had sex in her bed.”
So Sunday, Monday, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and then if he had a weekend...she's stay at his house twice. It's no wonder they needed a book. From the sexual foreplay lead ins to the story you'd think anal breaching and plugging were the climax for these two sexual nymphs but they hadn't even begun to reach the "tips" of the ice burgs if you get my drift....
“He just likes to do a lot of crazy stuff. But I did too….He wanted me to tie him up to the bed, so I would do whatever.”
“He called me and he asked me to go to the store to get clothespins, he wanted me to put them on his nipples, or he’d put them on mine.”
“He likes the top of his cock to be bit. He’s really weird. He likes to be bit on.”
“He always liked a finger up his ass. When I’d suck his cock, he’d want me to put both of his balls in my mouth and put my finger up his ass. And his left ball is smaller than his right one, and it’s weird. It’s so weird.”
Uneven testicles you say....yup, it was all over but the crying for this dude. There really isn't a river called De'Nile in Africa and there wasn't going to be no denying those furly messed up pairs. Surely somewhere out of this guys past there'd be one or more willing to step forward as testicle testifying witnesses, that'd be another first for ya, testicle testifiers....or at a minimum a few former high school buddies stating his pocket pool game always seemed a bit off in high school. At this point you'd think the guy would be on a plane somewhere faster than Ted Cruz leaving behind a state of frozen constituents but nope he had this to say:
Speaking to Patch.com, Merrill acknowledged he made lewd communications to Cesaire for around a year but denied the extramarital affair. Despite photographic evidence and text messages suggesting the existence of a consensual sexual extramarital affair, Merrill claims he was being harassed by Cesaire, and apparently exchanged overtly sexual messages with her as a form of self defense. Merrill also claims his wife knew about his allegedly nonsexual relationship with Cesaire for the entire time the two communicated.
I mean really, lets be honest here, this was a full out frontal blow with a move so swift to the rear he'll spend the next decade trying to dig that plug out of his ass. It's blatantly obvious now this guy isn't playing with a full set of testicles. Never ever bring short comings to a scorched earth scorned pussy fight. She's done stripped naked every orifice he has yet he feels compelled to deal her a bit more scorn. Let's bring this down to the reality of it, this woman just told the whole wide world she's plugged your anus, stuck her fingers up your butt, pitched your nipples with clothespins and bit the shit out of your cock and you fail to realize you are not playing with an average Jane here? She says, "I have text, I have video, audio, and she just bared all to the whole world, this wasn't going to end nicely but he called her bluff and she did not fold. The next days presses were running "hot".....
BREAKING: New Audio Reveals John Merrill Told Mistress You Know I Liked That After Anal Play Session
In one of the audio recordings, McPherson says, “But the next time I guess I won’t ever touch your ass again, since you hated that? Did you hate me sucking your c**k too, and swallowing your balls? Or is that something that you pretended that you liked, and then I was just a fool to keep doing it, ’cause you really didn’t like it?”
“No, you know that I liked that,” Merrill responded.
If anyone is wondering what king of woman lays a man out bare and tries to eat his testicles for lunch she can be seen here:
Finally Merrill decided it was time to pack up what was left of his one and half ouncers and go home:
The Alabama Secretary of State confirmed that he will not be seeking election for the seat that will be vacated by Sen. Richard Shelby in 2022:
“It’s clear that I had an inappropriate relationship with her, and it is not something that I am proud of or something that is something that — I’m very disappointed in myself. I’m also disappointed that I allowed my family to be embarrassed by this action. And it’s something that I certainly will always regret because of the pain that it has caused my family,” John Merrill said, as reported by AL.com, which credits NATIONAL FILE for breaking the Merrill scoop.
“I will obviously not be a candidate for the United States Senate nor will I be seeking any other elected position in 2022, because I think it’s important to me to make sure that I become the man that I have been before and that I am working to put myself in the position to be the leader that I have been before, as a husband, as a father, as a friend and as an elected official.”
I need a new autovoter. lol
Huey Lewis, the only concert I ever went to that a cop came up and told me to put out my joint....lol. Some big wig in town arranged for them to come in for a concert for one of his kids, it wasn't a big audience, probably why I got singled out. That was eons ago, in my youth youth, don't smoke weed anymore.