Celebrity Poker Players - Pros & Cons - SPL - AFT Series Vol. 4

Celebrities Playing Poker

Seeing familiar Hollywood faces sitting at the poker table is now becoming a norm. Ever since that hack Chris Moneymake won the WSOP Main Event in 2003, donkeys from all walks of life have tried their hand at poker gold. (HA, see what I did there?)

You have donkeys who lucksack their way into the 10K buy in by winning multiple satellite tourneys. Then you have the donkey who just happens to have an extra 10K laying around to donk off, so they make their way to Vegas. And finally you have the celebrities who certainly have the money to buy into the main event, but those donkeys aren't doing it for the money, those donks are doing it for the poker fame. Because Hollywood fame and fortune isn't quite enough, they need to pad their life stats a little more.

But don't get me wrong, there are some celebrity players who could actually make a valiant effort as a professional player. Below I have given you some players who could be "pros" and some players who are downright "cons" at the poker table. And as always, remember these are my views, and opinions. And they are the only ones that matter.

Pro

Shannon Elizabeth of American Pie fame is no stranger to the holdem table. She has appeared on numerous televised tournaments, and cash games. She has the poker stare down cold as you can see; and her playing chops aren't bad at all.

Con

Let's face it. This man needs to stick to writing, and possibly directing. Cause acting, and poker are not his forte. I mean have you seen Gigli? Lord jeebuz, now that was absolute shit.

Pro

Now we all know Kevin Pollak can act, but have you seen him play poker? The man can play. And look at that poker gaze.

Con

Tobey can actually play a little poker; as in, he isn't that bad. So some of you may ask why is he on the con list. Why? Because of everything else Tobey does, mainly his acting. (barf bag anyone)

Pro

Now some people may not be a big fan of Jennifer Tilly for whatever reason, but I hope that reason isn't her poker. While she isn't the best of players, her table presence is second to none. She banters well, and doesn't mind a little gambling. As far as her acting goes, i'm just gonna say Bride Of Chucky should have won an Oscar.

Con

I hate to put Brad Garret on this list. After all, I absolutely loved his work in Everybody Loves Raymond, but if you have seen him play poker, oh gosh. This man needs help. He is god awful. And a little annoying. As you can see in the pic, he bought like 5K worth of chips in $5 increments, and proceeded to donk them off in a little under an hour.

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Thank you for joining SPL tonight with its "away from table" series. Please join us next time as we dive into...who the fuck knows. I need weed to think of these genius post people, you ever think of that? It's not easy. Okay, imma go smoke and find some inspiration. Peace out for now.