Expected Pokemon Go articles

Pokémon Go has capture my heart and inner child. I remember playing my Gameboy Color with the red cartridge from 12 years ago where I literally caught all 151 (mostly without the down+a+b cheat). Since then, I had not followed the explosion of Pokémon seasons, spinoffs, games, or additional monsters… Until now.

Why am I playing?

Nintendo/Niantic isn’t the first to do this, but tying physical movement to virtual games is pretty brilliant. I’ve literally spent 12 hours over the weekend walking around the city with my wife and consequently seeing at least 300 other people staring at their phones and walking around pointing in general directions claiming rare Pokémon nearby. It’s a massive scavenger hunt and surprisingly collaborative. I’ve never spoken to so many high school / college strangers in my life through random overheard conversations.

Why this list?

There will be plenty of articles about this subject as the game matures and more companies try to capitalize on the franchise, but I’ll use my intuition to highlight some of the main headlines we’ll likely see as click bait.

1. Relationships grow with Pokémon Go – Therapists say couples who play Pokemon Go are 80% happier
2. Pokémon Go meetup groups are the biggest rage
3. Parents secretly love Pokemon Go more than kids
4. I met my wife playing Pokemon Go
5. Pokémon Go Tinder makes an emergence
6. Dog walkers double as Pokemon Go farmers to get you to level 12 in one day
7. Dogs being over walked and stand around waiting for owners to catch another Ratatta
8. Uber drivers willing to escort you between major sightings for a flat rate
9. New Pokémon Go companion app is Waze for Pokémon sightings. Costs $50.
10. Visits to cities spike due to Pokemon stops
11. Restaurants pay hundreds to erect their own Pokemon Stop inside
12. Nearby student bar pay hundreds to have rare Pokémon appear in their store
13. Foursquare partners with Pokemon Go to make their app what it wanted to be for the past 5 years
14. Nintendo conference reveals mewtwo and the crowd stops paying attention. The Internet breaks.
15. Niantic creates a travel guide business. Let’s people overlay paths.
16. 3 months after launch, geeks are fitter than ever
17. New Pokemon Go IOT devices are claimed to be stupid, but kids still want to buy them
18. External battery prices inflate
19. Articles on “Best External Battery” get the most views
20. Pokemon Go backpack revealed to include pocket for snacks, external battery charger, and TigerBalm
21. Phone manufacturers create a Pokemon phone that is dedicated to long battery life
22. Companion Pokemon Go app lets parents know where their kids are based on phone GPS
23. Pokémon Go PVP battling feature released. Arguments settled with battles.
24. Pokémon Death match feature released where winners get the loser’s pokemon. 10 year old makes 35 year old cry over Pikachu
25. Pokémon hosted events have special access to new Pokémon
26. Pokémon Go banned from classrooms
27. Laws passed by Congress to ban Pokémon go and driving
28. Kanye West sings with rare pokemon. AR feature introduced to concerts. Concerts using AR become the worst experience ever
29. Niantic gets hacked. Google accounts compromised.
30. Hipsters stop playing Pokemon Go because they rather be reading

~See Lemons Catch Them All