SPU Poetry Contest #2: From empty to Full

in #poetsunited6 years ago (edited)

This is the original poem called Empty. I have decided to not only turn it into a rhyming poem but also to change the premise and call it Full

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(Image credit Christina Hess )

Empty >
Conversations spilt in pixel flickering screen

Words like pinpricks to the eyes searching to illicit tears from a well long turned to dust

Regurgitated history dry, brittle and flakey like the layers of a hornets nest long abandoned, rooms of a decaying asylum

Sit like a spider watching text flow from the web into boxes overflowing with bile mind and fingertips failing response

Press mute rollover into empty sleep

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(Image credit Chiara Bautista)

Full >

Conversations spill on flickering screen
Pixel lover where have you been ?

Send me a picture send me a smile
Show me some cleavage stay for a while.

History comes full circle again
Lips sweet like honey drawing me in

The lust you elicit will drive me insane
My fingers they tremble typing your name

The desert is blooming the well it is full
In mind words are forming they don’t teach in school

Like charlotte the spider in my web I fly free
My dreams filled and fragrant for all world to see

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I do love the transformation between the two poems. You kept the same context - pixel lover - but the story changed. I enjoyed reading this :)

Yes the best transformations in life always keep something to recognise the original being don't you think ?

Yes, it's showing choice, freedom and responsibility. The context does not dictate how the story goes ;)

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