WITHIN ME BY @ELIASJAY (APPRECIATION POETRY)

Poetry is something i have and would always love, today alone, i have written 3 poems and recited one spoken word poetry;

So appreciating a poem especially one as beautiful as the one written by @eliasjay is something that would come very natural to me and something i really look forward to doing...,

But first lets have the poem

Within Me by @eliasjay

Am still young as the rivers that flow
Chasing the wild which wanes
Though the blossom is all but show
That which is sweet also pains

Goodness wears the garment same as darkness
Man tries hard but the land is barren
When none can, then only him can harness
As the sky is large, so my eyes are laden

Even as am saddled across on the ferry
My sleep is sweet as the mulberry
The light of hope burns in glee
For that which I seek lies here in me

source

I'll start by first telling you the emotions the poem was able to incite in me...,

And that was CHAOS and HOPE

And you can see this from the way the lines below were creatively carved..,

that which is sweet also pains
goodness wears the garment same as darkness

This explains chaos in a way that scares you, it shows you that no matter how beautiful anything you own is, its possible that thing would bring you pain. And this is something we experience everyday, the love of our life bringing us pain, the food we eat later coming back to haunt us either as a cancer trigger or something related to that, and the list goes on and on. Its a simple reminder that no matter what you think you have, pain and gloom is inevitable and the best thing you can do is to brace yourself for it and to realize that it only makes you stronger.

The light of hope burns in glee
For that which I seek lies here in me

This is hope, these lines were a paradox to the feeling of chaos portrayed in previous verses. Its like taking you 6000ft into the sky making you scared and then dropping you only for you to fall in a field full of beautiful feathers and rainbows and thats what hope does to us. But what is best is the fact that , the hope we seek lies within us, its something only you can find, you are stronger than you think and you need yourself before anyone else.

STRUCTURE OF THE POEM

Next thing i want to talk about is the structure. I want to imagine @eliasjay most have spent hours writing this poem cos the structure is intricately woven or he is so good, structuring a poem this way comes very natural to him.

You can see from the poem that he uses a rhyming pattern of ABAB in the first stanza, CDCD for the second stanza and EEFF in the last stanza..., if you think its easy to do, try writing a poem that rhymes this way..,

Am still young as the rivers that flow(A)
Chasing the wild which wanes(B)
Though the blossom is all but show(A)
That which is sweet also pains(B)

And the last stanza;

Even as am saddled across on the ferry(E)
My sleep is sweet as the mulberry(E)
The light of hope burns in glee(F)
For that which I seek lies here in me(F)

You would also notice that he used Slant rhymes in some places like ferry and mulberry and darkness and harness.

QUOTABLES

There is absolutely no way i would read a poem and not pick out one or two lines i can and would always recite unless of course the poem didn't touch me in anyway, but this one did and these are the lines that stood out for me;

though the blossom is all but show
that which is sweet also pains

AND

The light of hope burn in glee
for that which i seek lies here in me

MY TRUE APPRECIATION

Those that know me very well knows that you can only believe i truly value your poem when i write a poem of my own replying yours and that is what i want to do...,and i'll be using the same rhyming words, hopefully you'll like it too..,

Ice forms from the tears that flow
sorrow and grief that never wanes
Tell me what is there to show
when all your heart know is pains

if this pain cover me in darkness
till me eyes become hollow and barren
i'll look for hope and harness
the fields where joy is laden

So i travel seven seas in a ferry
Bag filled with clothes and mulberry
to a place where hope burns with glee
and joy becomes the only thing in me.