Virtual Attraction

in #poetry7 years ago

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Someone mentions him over coffee or maybe he's tagged in some photo along with some acquaintance of mine I vaguely remember knowing beyond the realm of depressive music links and politically inspired status updates, but in any case I look him up on Facebook

His profile picture is interesting enough for me to add him, it's in black and white with good quality and I am immediately attracted by his display of tortured artistry
When he accepts my friend request, I follow him on Instagram from my fake account usually used to follow exes and their girlfriends or potentially cute guys (much like this one), whose existence I wouldn't like to overly acknowledge
I step into the novelty of his life. Quickly I am learning that

we are from the same home town, but the studies in the Czech Republic at an art academy, major unknown. Subconsciously I calculate the distance from Berlin to Prague by train (4 hours).
and
he has a tattoo of a Native American frog symbol of his right forearm (which is quite interesting, because my mother always called me her little frog and I wonder if that's a sign of some sort?)
and that
he's been to Trebinje recently, the city in Herzegovina where my grandmother was born ( another sign perhaps??)
I scroll away from the photo's of his girlfriend and their 4 year anniversary. It will not last, I'm certain. She lives in Sarajevo and they seem very different (but it's nice to know he's open to long distance relationships).
He's older than me, but only 3 and a half years and that's not a lot (as a matter of fact, my dad is 10 years older than my mum and they started dating when she was 17).

In the next two months, I'll learn even more about him, logging into my alternative Instagram persona at least once a week for an update. His life unravels before my eyes.
He went to Paris with his girlfriend (who I eventually followed too), but I suspect they've broken up since. Many photos were deleted, new ones weren't posted and they don't exchange likes or comments any more. He was in Sarajevo (I saw it on Snapchat), yet she was not in any of the pictures.
I begin picking up more of the „signs“.
He owns a T-shirt that says I love Berlin
His Zodiac sign is Aquarius and I, as a Libra, am most compatible with Aquariuses and Geminis
We have a similar music taste (he's a big Frank Zappa fan)
His status updates are most often very funny (and I've always said the most important thing about a person is a sense of humor).
I really like his sisters, they have kind eyes and he seems to get along with them (which says a lot about him as a person). I couldn't find pictures of his parents, but I found one of his aunts on Facebook. We had a single mutual friend (except for him) and it was my godmother (sign???? again???)
As for him, we have 95 mutual friends on Facebook, most of them very respectable people (I wonder if I could manipulate any of them into introducing us? Discretely, of course.)
I wonder if I should follow him from my real Instagram, but decide against it. He has 1232 followers and only follows 476 of them back.

This goes on. We never meet, but by following his movements via social media I am aware of all our almosts. To give myself something to do in moments of boredom I daydream about how it would go down. I imagine it from his perspective, as he lays his eyes on me for the first time and the ground beneath him spins.
Than one day I forget to log onto Instagram.
The day after I have no time for WiFi whatsoever.
The third day is boredom-free and I do not daydream.
On the fourth day he posts a photo in which his forehead looks huge. I hadn't noticed that before.
The fifth day I go through his photos again. I cannot unsee the forehead thing and it starts bothering me.
The sixth day I see he has liked his (ex?) girlfriends new profile picture.
The seventh day a girl that my best friends best guy friend had a crush on three years ago posts a picture with some friends and one of them is really cute and much more my type in all honesty.
The eight, ninth, tenth and eleventh day I forget to stalk him. On the 12th he shares a link to a glowing critic of La La Land. I am deeply disappointed. Day 13 his girlfriend posts a picture of them kissing. She's definitely not an ex.
The obsession has passed.
He who shall not be stalked has been unfollowed and unfriended.
I create a little break-up scene in my head. He will never even know what he lost.
It is time to move on

Perhaps to another profile.

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