What the Migraine Said (Day 5)
These are the wincing days: walking around shading eyes with hands, an ice-pack atop my head and, vampire-like, avoiding light, seeking quiet and dark spaces.
For the past weeks—nearly a month, now—I've been experiencing a fairly persistent migraine. It loosens its grip just long enough for me to read or write a little, but makes itself known if I stare overlong at The Screens, big or small (computer and iphone). This has limited my concentration and participation, on Steemit, and has me staggering around in a kind of haze during waking hours.
Last week, alarmed by its persistence, I visited the emergency room, where I spent 12 hours (from 7pm-7am) between waiting to be seen and being seen. Mercifully, catscan and bloodwork came back clean and I feel bad complaining, in comparison to the major tragedies I witnessed in the waiting room: relatives howling in pain, writhing on the ground, having just learned of the death of their loved ones, domestic abuse, shootings, all variety of life's walking wounded.
I've been taking medication to control the pain, and gotten an eye exam since, but still feel out of it, dizzy and nauseous even as I type this, versus the acute pain I felt weeks earlier. If the new glasses/ prescription don't help, I'm meant to visit a neurologist, next. The reason I'm sharing all this is because it's also the subject and springboard for my poem, below.
As I lie, here, half in and out of consciousness
I imagine my migraine as a world migraine
my cluster headache as a cluster of world aches
that we must tip toe around like a sleeping tiger
The sleep of reason produces monsters—
this we know from art and the news:
murder and sham leaders shooting themselves
in one foot and chewing on the other.
But, the sleep of reason produces angels, also
like Love, which is no whimsical thing,
a love like bull, bullfighter and bloody cape,
billowing in the wind, like an open heart
Beckett said this best, truth in paradox:
The mystics I like...their burning illogicality
–the flame...Which consumes all our filthy logic...
Where there are demons there is something precious
Once we know this, the rest is silence.
The master is not permitted the same mistakes
that an amateur is allowed to make.
© Yahia Lababidi
(Images: Vampire fangs, Pixabay
self-portrait with icepack, manipulated by Prisma app)
This is my entry for Day 5 of @d-pend's 100 Day Poetry Challenge. To learn more, please, visit Steemit School on discord
My migraines feel like a stroke- an entire side of my body goes numb and when I try and talk, my thoughts don't form right on my tongue. It's pretty horrifying. I hope they figure out what's going on and get you some relief. They have new glasses that are supposed to cut down on the blue spectrum light coming off screens and ease some of the strain from working with computers all the time- you might look into those if you have a chance.
I have a pair of sunglasses like this, and I do recommend them, though the ones I have are pretty heavy duty, and tint the whole world kind of orange. There are less obvious ones available, and I think they're a good idea.
I appreciate your concern, dear Sun, @sunravelme it sounds like you have it far worse... Sorry, to hear that & hope you get them less & less severely. 🙏🏼
Mine, when really bad, feel like I have a clamp or giant rubber band, mostly, fastened to left side of face/head.
Otherwise, like now, just feel weirded out — like a trippy Burning Man experience, minus the fun ;)
Y’now, I looked into those blue comp glasses - even got fitted for one after fussing over a frame - only to discover that my prescription was too high!
Oh well... Wishing you a pain-free Sunday 🙇🏻♂️
Been there friend. Took a serious change in diet to finally end those monsters for me. No sugar, no carbs, 2 small meals a day, exercise. Hopefully you will find a cure for yours. Also, sometimes it's through pain that we create. Beautiful words. Feel better.
Thank you, somewhat better, lately. Curious about diet connection & know I need to exercise more! Glad to hear you’re free of this pain and leading a healthier lifestyle. Grateful for your warm concern and appreciation, man 🙇🏻♂️
Thanks. Through my research I found links to high carb diets and many modern maladies. You might look into controlling migraines through diet. Good luck on this journey.
Thanks, again. Making note of this & will research. Stay well ✌🏼
You are such a good and creative poet. You describe your pain in poem . Good imagination .
Thank you, for your support. Poetry, as I understand it, can be a way of transforming suffering into something beautiful to be shared with others 🙏🏼
Whatta wonderful selection of words with awesome theme "What the Migraine Said" I actually enjoyed every bit of this poem <3
Thanks a lot for the essence of art Yahia ;)
Thanks, for reading & letting me know what you enjoyed, Salman.
The mind, while a useful servant, can be a dangerous master 🙏🏼
Stay Blessed my Spiritual Brother :)
I hope you'll get better soon 😊
Very nice poem, it's amazing how you get inspired by pain and you manage to make beautiful images out of it.
(but isn't day 5 supposed to star later this afternoon?)
Thank you, for your warm wishes and kind appreciation, Hazem.
Poetry, is like cooking (like life, really) we use what we have 🤷🏻♂️
Posting, now, as I’m not sure I will be able to later. Best of luck ✌🏼
Ugh, you're words are always so captivating. I loved "murder and sham leaders shooting themselves in one foot and chewing on the other."
That seems like the one verbose thing we all share and can humanize each other with: pain. It sucks, but it reminds us that the people around us aren't just cardboard stand ups or "characters in your own plot." I know this doesn't have too much to do with the poem, your post just inspired that chain of thought. :P
Pain does humble & unite us... sacked in skin, none of us are immune. Glad to hear your thoughts on this & that you thought write-up was engaging. Stay healthy ✌🏼