"We Must Not Play With Hearts" — My-Niche Contest #1 / Theme: Regret
One day after I was rhapsodizing on the vivifying power of Love (in honor of Valentine's Day) here I am, now, lamenting its destructive flipside, namely, the regret we feel when betrayed.
My poem also elaborates on the regret we experience when we must withdraw our trust from someone once dear. There is no off-switch to Love, of course, but we have to protect ourselves to survive.
Hearts
We must not play with hearts
for who can calculate
what they are capable of,
or what they might become
How they slip, change shape
practice forgetfulness and purge,
surrendering pleasure with pain
as unsteady burdens of memory
Or how they grow wayward, wild
the wounded become wounding
and, in order to keep alive,
treacherous in the trenches
Until they are unrecognizable
to their owners, brokers or breakers
and what began as deception
proves to be a self-delusion
The heart has its treasons
that reason does not know—
why it must cheat, lie, even die
just to stand a chance at rebirth.
© Yahia Lababidi
This is my submission for @awolesigideon's My-Niche Contest #1, on the theme of Regret
(Cover Image by Mohamed Hassan, Pixabay)
"The heart has its treasons
that reason does not know—" so true, this. Not sure if I'm saddened by the truth of it, frankly, or relieved. The former would explain so much. The latter, justify things I'd rather not think about justifying.
Lovely, as always, Yahia.
It’s a kind of riff off Pascal’s line:
The heart has its reasons which reason knows not.
What do we do, dear Inna, we have no choice but to continue to love (even those who hurt us). Yet, regrettably, with eyes wide open, sometimes.
Sending soft smiles & good vibes your way ❤️
Ah! I heard the echo of that line of Pascal's, but couldn't put my finger on it...
"Just to stand a chance at rebirth."
Yes.
It's only in the past couple of years that I've begun to think this philosophically about it... before that, love was always and only devastating. And because of this I wonder sometimes if I've lost something, hardened, become jaded. If I'm cooler than I used to be, or just cold.
I love your description of the mercurial and reactive character of the human heart, the ways in which it can so easily and so quickly change.
I remember listening to a composition of yours, which you sang, and thinking: this man knows heartbreak, and what great price it must have cost him to make art of it
Thank you, my friend, for listening to my little lament. We cool off, of necessity, but so long as we create we also preserve the white hot flame of love and loss—as though in amber—not only so that we can handle it better, but so that others might benefit from our cautionary tale...
Congratulations, again, on your recent Curie and may your work, here and elsewhere, receive the recognition it deserves.
Warmly,
Yahia
I also love "surrendering pleasure with pain/as unsteady burdens of memory". It isn't possible to limit one's ability to experience painful or uncomfortable emotions without having an equivalent effect on the pleasurable ones.
Honestly, I think that my current state of equilibrium and relative happiness is probably mostly due to the fact that I'm learning how to make better decisions (or at least to avoid the really horrible ones), not that I've lost my ability to feel .
I've written numerous breakup songs over the course of my life. They were always easy for me. But no matter how hard I tried, love songs - real love songs - didn't come along until more recently. Because of the woman I was with at the time, with whom the idea of love was no longer just an idea. Now, when I date somebody, I know pretty quickly if there's anything between us or not: if love songs come to me, there's something real. If not... it's probably a dead end.
This recognition - that love songs didn't come to me for all of those years, not because I was stunted or broken in some way, but because I had yet to experience actual romantic love, has been a sobering one. When I think about it realistically, it looks like my standards might be a lot higher than they used to be, which is, of course, a good thing. But when you're used to being a pushover for the idea of love in any form, it feels very different to be so discerning. A little bit like growing up ;) "for who can calculate/what they are capable of,/or what they might become".
Thank you as always my friend, for your generosity, thoughtfulness, and presence.
Wow, much to muse on, here (many thanks, for your trust).
Off the top of my sleepy head, I really like what you say about poetry acting as a kind of barameter for true love.
Yes, Art, like the heart, does not lie and cannot be forced to feel what it does not.
I’m happy for you that your standards are higher —this is wisdom, maturity and evolution — long may your equilibrium last!
Happy my poem (and experience behind it) could occasion this heart to heart, @bennetitalia ❤️
Same here Yahia, many thanks for listening! And for your wonderful writing. You know a poem has had an effect on you when it provokes this level of reflection.
It was late last night when I wrote, so I think I got a little more wordy than usual lol. But I pretty much am an open book in general. Zero poker face 😜
The only thing better than a book, is an open book :P Poems, as far as I'm concerned, are group therapy -- for readers and writers, alike. They help us get to those hard-to-reach places, and flush them out with Light and running water :)
Bless you, for your lack of a poker face, dear artist _/|_
@yahialababidi, this is beautiful, soul-stirring, causing me to take trips back down memory lane. And yet how I have grown from heartbreak. It is good to connect with you again. I know I have been missing in action as my life's work continues to reveal itself to me and usher me forth on my journey It causes me to be elsewhere and time continues to move on, but know that you are my kindred brother that I am still honored to know and you will forever be in a special place in my heart and I will never do anything but bring love to your heart know that this is always my intention. ~ Ren
Bless your Big Heart, Sister Ren @rensoul, it’s always uplifting to hear from you!
We have a rare connection, and you must never feel you have to explain your actions/ intentions to me. I am often MIA (even from myself, at times) and plead The Dickinson:
Life is so astonishing, it leaves very little time for anything else! —Emily Dickinson
May we continue to grow & evolve, in awe & wonder, as our journey is revealed to us 🙏🏼❤️💫
I love the line "for who can calculate what they are capable of." The extreme shapes hearts can take are alarming, and, like tongues, they can cause irreparable harm, either to their owners or those that the heart is leant to.
Thank you, for hearing me. Yes, that’s why we must be very careful with what we say or do.
There is a quote that struck me, by Elie Weisel:
The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.
Sometimes, the hardest thing is having to hold love back, to protect yourself, until you find that over time you have have grown to care less for someone you once admired or adored. Pity...
That's an awful thing.
It's funny that you mentioned Elie Weisel. I've been reading his book Messengers of God. I'm a huge fan!
I’m new to EW, but recognize the profundity. Enjoy book ✌🏼
I believe this poetry is very good, but I can not speak english, through google translite i can feel it,
regards, @saifuddin73
Thank you, for taking time & making the effort to read it. Much appreciate it—I believe poetry is beyond language, so it’s important you felt it 🙏🏼