RA-TA-TA-TA: ANOTHER EXPERIMENT IN PAIN
I woke up this morning with the thought that poetry is not just about the words, rhythm and rhyme but also about how the words are placed. It is about emphasis; stating the hidden. It is about telling a story with subtle hints, with few words and unclear pictures.
This idea of poetry is what I seek to put to a test in the poem below. I don't know if I am making sense here. Do I ever make sense? Well you tell me.
RA-TA-TA-TA
Ra-ta-ta-ta...
Bullet echoes poke holes
As
Stumbling bodies crumble,
Greasy fingers caress crisp notes,
And the sun bathes a flower and a butterfly.
Ra-ta-ta-ta...
The singer unstrings his voice,
Gongs of criers plead with the night,
The masquerade's cackles unmask the moon,
Children pee fear into the heated night
And the river kisses the moon under a mangrove tree.
Ra-ta-ta-ta...
Tapping beggar cane seeks concrete.
Tell me a story, it says;
Of gods and angels, men and queens,
Of flooded voices and bleeding forests,
Of empty skies and the silence within,
Of the scent of Earth after the rains.
Ra-ta-ta-ta...
Radio man sprays,
Bullets poke echoes of divided causes
Into the bodies of stale friends
Making peace between the hips of tomorrow.
Come and tell them to die quietly;
The baby is sleeping.
Come and tell them to take some agidi,
The road is long
And the boatman takes not coin.
source
End
NOTE:
Agidi: a pudding made from maize. It is a staple of the Yoruba ethnic group in the western part of Nigeria.
source
It is usually eaten with moi-moi(bean pudding) or with sauce.
Very nicely done. I'm not a poetry wiz, but I certainly enjoyed this piece.
Thank you!
a very good word ,, i was so interested to read it ...
it is a pudding!? I thought it is a fish.. Aw my.
Well, it must be very tasty.
Lol... The shape is because it is wrapped in plantain leaves. It is quite bland when eaten alone but with a sauce or soup, it's really good.
I was doing the poetsunited daily issue today, and I really liked this. I would suggest, however, to find a way to 'format' the post better, as it can be quite distracting with all those blocks and change of fonts/sizes. The words in the poem are so well-written - they speak so much just by themselves.
Thank you @poetrybyjeremy. I was experimenting too much I suppose.
I'm not sure to how it looks in the editor or to you, but for me this is how it looks:
![ratatata.png](https://steemitimages.com/DQmeQPkeVfu7Wfi1qaZoc2USwQmfZWnNcqhUxubJuf5T668/ratatata.png)
Lol. It looked prettier in the night mode. Thanks