Mirror
I floss my tears
Wash my fears with vinegar
Bitter tasting brew; belief fading.
I lost my years misting away
Like the dew catching the sun,
Painting the moon.
I flossed my teeth
The sign on the mirror read
My lips like a mimic.
I washed my hands on the sink;
It drained away my fears
And the mirror said;
Brush your hair.
The fact that this is a free write is impressive and one of the many reasons that I tell my students to do it daily. There are some great lines in here that I can see becoming an excellent poem. In fact, I think that you could simply remove some things, and it'll be able to stand on its own already.
In the first stanza, I think that the first line needs to be the vinegar line. Then, remove "belief fading" I wash my fears with vinegar, bitter tasting brew. I lost my years...the moon."
Again, I think the floss line can go. Use the sign line as the first, add a second line, keep the rest a is until it you get to sink;.
Of course, there is more you can do here, but the piece could stand as is with these minor changes. I'm jealous of your ability to free write.
Thanks @introvertfl. I appreciate your words.
It's interesting reading all these free-writes. Such a range of styles, from train-of-thought to structured poetry!
I'm standing in for Marianne today on the linking - here's the link for freewrite 82:
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-82-5-minute-freewrite-prompt-stetson
So glad that you came out to play! This is fantastic!
outstanding!