Abel

“Here I’m”

For the first time in a long time I’m not saying this angry or anxious or confused
now I see it clearly

here I’m in New York and I still think of you
I see you all around

I met a Spanish guy who’s energy was exactly like yours
he dressed the same
had the same look… your look
except he wasn’t you.

I remember it clearly
your classic black vans, beige pants and blue shirt
Blue is the color of the shirt of the man I love
and while I’m writing this I’m wearing a blue shirt

I know there is nothing I can do about the past but learn from it
but I just wanted to let you know that I’m sorry
Sorry if I ever hurt you or offended you
I didn’t know myself back there
I didn’t love myself
and I wasn’t happy with my life.
There’s is no magic, no tricks, still just me…

I just wanted to let you know
that whenever something good happens
you are the first person that comes to mind and I want to tell

When I need advice
your opinion is the only one that matters to me
¿why?
¿why did I learn to appreciate you so late?
I guess that’s life Abel

I still love you
and I don’t want anything from you but your friendship
and the chance to start all over

I’m not moving to Madrid anytime soon, I’m very pleased in NY
I’m studying something I like, I’m working, moving, learning, healing, letting go…

In matters of life, sometimes you are my inspiration
and oddly I see yourself in myself sometimes,
I think you had no idea the mark you left on me
maybe it only was a one way love
me towards you or even platonic
but it definitely carried on with me

Our encounter broke me into pieces
and for that I’m very grateful
because what I build with those pieces
it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever done in my life

I’m aware of who I’m
and my power
and from now on
whoever is in my life
it’s only because he/she/they are very lucky.

E.B. White once said, that no one should come to NY unless he is willing to be very lucky. Well I’m the luckiest, craziest, kindest, good hearted and happiest new yorker.

I only would like to add, that people who are loved by artists, are the luckiest.
I just hope one day, someone loves me the way I loved you.

..I hope you have a great life
filled with love, laughs, art and roses..

Victor Manuel