"Serenity in Depression"

veejay2312 (51)in #poetry • 6 years ago (edited)

Peace? It's not what you are thinking of;

This is not the same peace that you feel when you are reading an old book in the library.

This is not the same peace that you get when you are alone in your room, with only your breath as your company.

This is not the same peace that you get after going to a place that only you know about, cause you know to yourself that you didn't find this place without thoroughly searching for it. Plus, in your m you know that you will never ever reach peace because of the things you are running away from, people you are avoiding.

This is not the same peace that you have when sleep deeply in the afternoon or evening, drool flowing down your open mouth.

This is not the same peace you get after completing your studies. That is not peace for it is a start of a new phase.

This is not the same peace you get after leaving the boundaries of your own family. That will never be peace for you will always be chased by your responsibilities that you need to fulfill.

We can sometimes find peace in the rowdiest place on earth;
We can even sometimes feel more peaceful in the middle of the of a busy street, under the deafening honking cars.
We can feel more at peace there than our house wrapped in coldness and silence.
Sometimes we can feel more at ease when we hear tractors and machinery that are constructing the road.

We feel more tranquil in these places than the repetitive pretentions of our classmates and friends.
We can feel more serene in the face of our neighbor's gossips about us that the fake smiles of people who we deal with every day.

We can sometimes feel peace when we feel sick; we become relax whenever we are showered with brutal words that can kill any living creature.

Where the whole place would be silently disturbed by nothing but your sobs
trying your its to stop the tears flowing down your eyes while reminding you how insignificant you are,
on how burdensome you are to your family, in how stink like garbage.
Your existence similar to a debt that will never be paid.

So before we resent other for not wanting peace, we should think first. Think that maybe the peace we want is a start of their death.

Maybe your idea of peace is completely different from theirs. Your idea is sleeping peacefully under the comfortable sheets . While for them, their idea of peace is crying for 5 whole hours in the corner before going to bed. Asking the stars why they can't do anything right. Crying and asking while looking out the window.

and if you are thinking that we will only attain peace by continuously battling the things that only we know about, maybe that is not really peace.

What is the reason for fighting for peace? If this will result in our imprisonment in a small box and gagging our rights to speak.

Why would we want to wake up in the constant and monotonous activities just to be at ease? If the main reason why we continuously become exhausted is awakening in the morning?
Why do we have to continue to combat the pain that only only us are aware of? Why do we choose to live even if this is not the peace we are seeking?

Why do they always blame Depression everytime someone passes away? Why not blame the people around them that never even cared to lend a hand.

Why can't I feel the love that you claim in the times I asked for your help? There are so many people out there who would like to reach a state of peace, not because they would like to commit suicide, but because they want to get rid of the pain they feel inside. Something that no one, even their family, and friends, knows of.

The part that is most unacceptable in the path to peace is the constant deceit. Continuously claiming we are loved, but never showed us how that we are important.