Seing urself in poetry

urchice (49)in #poetry • 7 years ago

You are spreading yourself too thinly,wondering if all this is worth it.

Can you not stay by yourself?

This madness that you crawl away from and find yourself running back to.

Do you like pain so much that you abhor healing? Do you like the emptiness that echoes your doubt and insecurities back to you? What exactly is your heart after that it seeks to send you to hell everytime? With hands that dig other people's lives for Joy, you have sent your soul to damnation.

I am still asking, what exactly is it that you are running from?

Going into people's lives unprepared, you have never gone ready, you always appear with yourself bleeding to death, heart in hand asking for life support.

You discard yourself like soiled rags immediately they let you in. I am still asking you, why do you hate yourself so much?

Do you reek so much of guilt and the faint rot of shame? Or are you just afraid of yourself? Does your past drive you crazy at night when it comes to you in dreams and whispers of how unworthy you are?

20 be the number of times you have traced paths away from yourself, 24 be the number of times you have returned to find this place a ghost town with white freckled pieces of you asking for warmth.
What will be your excuse for leaving?

You simply cannot pack your bags and abandon your self. Where will you go?

I know your mother did not tell you but did you not know that the love you give yourself will heal you?

Did you not know that no one will ever be your best thing?

Do you not know you belong to yourself first?

I ask again. Why then do you like abandoning yourself everyday?