In the Bleak Midwinter [Original Poetry]
There's a little masochist in everyone
holding hands
until bones grind together
the dust sifting
until I begin where
you end
and hair
turns into spears
rubbing every curve raw
and you never know
when the next kiss
will hurt
more than the last
goodbye
art and flair courtesy of @PegasusPhysics
Art created by Sunravelme using the Deep Dream Generator and a free to use image from pixabay
Poetry is property of Sunravelme
this is heartbreaking, Sun, pure tragedy condensed into 14 lines.
the melting of identities into one, unhealthy (and potentially unrequited) entity is a powerful concept that you conveyed more succinctly than i would have thought possible.
there's so much power in how important every word here is to the message, everyone curated for maximum impact, but none as much so as that last line. crushing, Sun, truly exceptional.
Thank you lovely <3 That is quite the review!
"and you never know
when the next kiss
will hurt
more than the last
goodbye"
Love is powerful. It can build willpower, break barriers and ignite fozen heart (got that bit from frozen)
Unfortunately, it can also be a source of anxiety and depression. You contain this thought with few words. Sometimes, to love can mean to hurt, to expose yourself to the uncertainty of unrequited love.
I guess that's what makes it interesting for many, the constant highs and lows. Certainly not for me though. My own version will be:
"and you never know
when the next kiss
will ignite
more than the last
Exchange"
😁
So well written. Short but packs a punch. There's something about how the part "until I begin where, you end, and hair" reads that really caught me off guard but sounds so satisfying as I read it. Hard to explain what I mean, but I guess just how the combination of words sounds together was nice in my head lol
I liked this piece and probably took it a little more literal than most. I perceived an aspect of physicality that made me think of rough foreplay. I liked the idea of hair as spears. Nice write.
There is no wrong interpretation but this one is the closest to what I was thinking as I wrote it 😉
great poem @sunravelme.
Incredibly poignant work Sun!!
My reaction is visceral. Internal. External. Trapped. Amazing how we can all share such uniquely powerful experiences when expressed through sparing and authentic lines such as these. Wow.
"In the Bleak Midwinter" nice poetry
muy buena poesía te felicito
gracias!
Wasooo this is a piece of abtract playing here, nice one, need to learn from you. Please check out my own poem too about motherhood
https://steemit.com/poem/@venikande/the-joy-of-a-womanhood