The Shared Bonds of Addiction

still.alive (41)in #poetry • 6 years ago

I Wrote a Poem for an Addict

My brother-in-law has always struggled with addiction. For as long as I have known him, and for most of his life before that, he has been an addict. A couple of years ago, he managed to find his path toward a sober lifestyle, and he walked that path for a short while.

He became a paragon of sorts; he was charitable, gracious, helpful, and a genuinely good person to be around. During this time, by all accounts, he was more successful than he had ever been in his adult life. Free from drug use, James was able to hold a job, help out the family, and give back to his community; he even dressed up as Elvis for the folks at the local nursing home.

I wrote this poem in the hope that he would stay sober, and to give him an understanding of how I felt about him. Our family wanted, ever so much, for this to have been his last escapade into the realm of substance abuse. Sadly, it was not.

Although I feel hurt by the damage he has done, my longing for him to be able to live a sober and successful life remains the same. I hope that, one day, I will be able to give him this poem. I am unsure if he would even recognize the meaning behind the words, but I believe he would feel the message within it.

James fell off the wagon shortly after this run at sobriety began. He went back to doing all the hurtful, shameful, and dirty things that careless, habitual drug users do. Once again, James had relapsed.

Currently, he is in a halfway house, and is again trying to come to grips with the situation he has found himself in. Our family has given him all that we have to give... to an excruciatingly literal degree. He's had 41 years of support, 24 of which he has been an addict. He has brought such pain upon his family that he has all but depleted that lifeline. At least for now, that is; we all need time to heal our wounds.

This is the poem that I wrote for him. I made a few edits below the picture of my original draft. If it can't ever help James, maybe it can be of help to someone reading this. The girl I referenced in the poem is his daughter...

_{I wrote this poem a little over two years ago, about 6 months after he got sober.}

Resurrect > Renew > Rebuild

You lie there motionless, thoughts in motion,
Eyes reflective, mind bent on thoughts reflected,
This life gone, a waste; time spent staying wasted,
You lie prone, still prone to the fixation,
Your curse, vexed by the allure; chemical vexation,
Ineptitude has led to this, yet you are not inept,
Oh, how far it is going, and how far gone are you,
To have been blind before your blessing; you are so blessed,
The falsehood of your reality is that it is not false,
The unlikelihood of your likeness being likened to the lycan,
The midnight child who dares to walk among the children of day,
Suffered you, her, the pain and suffering of your absentminded mind,
She suffers you, now, the dreams of a child, as your daydreams die,
Awaken! See for yourself the unseen life that has passed you by,
Take hold of your wits and outwit the fear which has beaten you,
Be not afraid of the unknown, for all you have known has been for naught,
And discover that there is more to life yet to be discovered,
You are living... You are alive... Now, go forth, and live your life!