A poetic story about growing up and believing

in #poetry2 months ago

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Lana's "Ride" sounded in the room

And suddenly I wanted to be like her.

And also like many other people.

Because I didn't like being me.

Then I saw my wrists

And I wanted to do something with them.

But I could not

Because the radio had changed songs.

Now Demi's warrior sounded.

And she always talked about being strong.

And then I wanted to be.

In my childhood I was always smiling.
My Hair moved to the beat of the wind.
When Dad took me to play in the park.
And he could see the universe from his shoulders.
Because i was his princess.
And he would always be there to protect me

When she was little
I never cared about the color of my eyes
Neither the color nor the shape of my hair
Much less how much he weighed
Or if my waist was perfect.
Or if he had the whitest smile.
Because i was a little girl.
And children don't care about those things.
Because they see with the heart.

When I ate my cereal.
I chose the reds.
Because I liked the way they looked more.
And also as they knew.
I told my mother not to use the green
Because they were the ugliest in the box.

And I didn't like the way they looked.
Nor did they know how.
When I did that I never thought.
That life was like that bowl of cereal.
And now I was the color green.

At Christmas I asked Dad for a doll.
And he said he would buy it.
It was when he took me to the toy store.
And I was very happy.
Dad told me to choose one.
And the lady from the store showed me two.
One was of rag and another was the one that kind in the commercials.
Grab the prettiest.
Because that was the one i wanted.
Now I want to be like the one that kind in the commercials
And I'm just the sad rag doll
The one that always stays on the counter.

My mother always said she was a good girl
Because when I served the food the whole plate would eat
She always served me a little more
And in the end the dessert gave me.
Now I'm not sure if I'm the good girl.
Because I look at the dish, and even the terrible food I have to eat.
Hopefully there is no dessert.
Because now I do care about calories.

At seven in the afternoon.
I ran to the TV
Because they were showing my favorite series.
I danced like the protagonist.
Sometimes my sister did it too
Others, Mom would record me to show the family.
I felt like a star
Because they said so.
After I grew up I looked in the mirror
And I didn't see the star that everyone was talking about.
They haven't seen me for a while.

When we are little.
People don't care what the prettiest baby is
Or that's what we think.
But when we grow up nobody wants the ugliest baby.
Because without tenderness he is nothing more than the ugly boy.
And nobody dares to see what is inside that boy.
And neither from me.

Now I am great.
But only in age.
Because big people are pretty.
And when people see me they know I'm not.
Right there I am the smallest of all.

Days ago I met someone who told me it was beautiful.
Even people make fun of me.
I was weak and I cried.
The boy ran after me.
I am so sorry I felt sorry for this rag doll.

In one morning some guys started to surround me.
Thousands of insults were released.
And I burst into tears.
I couldn't run, I stayed still.
He had days without eating, he had no strength.
Then he came and defended me
He told me that beautiful girls don't cry.
He understood why he was crying.

From that day on, the boy followed me.
It didn't bother me.
I liked having him around.
But I was ashamed that he had to be near me.

Days ago that boy kissed me.
And I could only run away
Because I realized something
And I do not love myself
And so you cannot love others.

Then I had a revelation.
No one deserves to feel this way.
The only way I feel like this is because others treat me like this.
And they treat me like this because I allow them to.

Now I have one thing clear.
I need help, and he helps me.
I couldn't turn my life to that idea.
The idea that Beauty is through a mirror.
Mirrors can lie, because they don't show what's inside.
No one has to live to have a magazine face.
Not a Barbie body.
I thought it should be.
Because that's what they made me believe.
And it was no one but me.
But it won't be like that anymore.

Lana's Ride sounded in the room

And suddenly I didn't want to be like her, although I've always liked her.

Nor did I want to be like so many other people.

Because I liked being me.

And then I looked in the mirror

And I realized that I looked amazing

Or so I wanted to believe.

Then the radio changed songs.

Now Demi's warrior sounded.

And she talks about being strong.

And then I knew that I was.