Too Crazy

Content warning-Suicide.

I am
Too crazy
To survive myself
That's what
I told myself
As waited for
The bus
To take
Me to my death
I sat before dawn
Watching the last
Of the hustlers
And street deals
Before the business fucks
Were out to turn up their noses
For the first time
Maybe in my life
I was calm
I could breathe
I could say to the prostitute
Who smiled at me
That I was too crazy to live
And I smiled
I said I was going to
Go eat pancakes
And then
Jump off of
The Aurora Bridge
Fly like a sea bird
And dive into
Death.
She asked to have breakfast with me
And she liked the poem I wrote for her
And talked to me
Like I wasn't crazy
Just
A baby in pain
She hugged me the way I craved
And said she would forgive me
If I did it
And then she said,
You can live
And be crazy