30 Poems in 30 Days #13 - Snowfall

in #poetry • 8 years ago (edited)


Image courtesy of BaxiaArt DeviantArt

Empty streets
Of shattered bricks
Echo my gentle footfalls
Off their shattered stone

I am hollow
Like the whips of icy wind
Cracking against my face
As the city burns

Ashen flakes
Drift all around
Falling from an oppressive sky

This is the landscape
Of my dreams

#poem #poems #life
8 years ago in #poetry by
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     8 years ago 

    Enjoyed the read, very minimal style. Hey just a thought, take it or leave it, how about tightening up this one line. It is the best line in the poem IMO.

    Like the whips of the icy wind

    Like whips of icy wind

    [-]
     8 years ago (edited)

    Thanks for the comment and the feedback; I like the change, and I'll definitely keep that type of cleanup in mind for next time as well.

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