I agree with whoshim. The single line format with full stops at the end of each line works really well. It makes the poem more immediate and punchy. Each line is like its own statement but you can also read each verse as a whole. This technique works better in some verses than others
Inner voices.
Conflicted.
Alarmed.
Run away.
Fight back.
Never mind.
I was helpless then.
She is helpless now.
but never the less the consistency of the punctuation as a technique to highlight is interesting and would be less effective and less obvious if it were only used in parts.
Great poem Jeremy :-)
Thank you! I appreciate the comment and it got me thinking. I tend to keep to grammatical rules, and when I break them, it seems like a create a new rule. It would be interesting for me to use different rules in different stanzas in some future pieces.