Healing

I want to connect,
but what could I say?
It’s a lonely feeling
at the end of the day,
after I’ve given my gifts
in so many ways.
I sit down, I rest.
I want to connect,
but what could I say?

The elusiveness of the relationships of which I dream,
always a step short of that place within.
The place that needs to be touched,
but those willing and able to do so aren’t around.
Am I asking too much?
Are my wordless requests too heavy for another to bear?
And if so, will I ever be able to meet these needs on my own?
But if not, then where is she?

I want to connect,
but there’s nothing to say.
I could make a phone call,
I could drive to a friends’,
but what would I say?
Sure we might share some laughs or talk by the fire,
and I might leave having forgotten this amorphous feeling.
But still, it would exist within.

I’d like to share this inner world with another,
but what could I say?
What should I say to bridge the gap?
How could another really see this place within?
Either they wouldn’t really understand, or maybe they would.
Maybe they’ve been there.
And maybe they can remember a similar feeling within themselves.
Their memory, still once or twice removed from my experience.
Hell, this might even feel alright.
But it wouldn’t cure the emptiness,
it wouldn’t heal the hole within.
I should know.

I want to connect,
but what could I say?