Where's the Cream, A Spoiled Princess Rant, Poetry
The following poem is based on a true story ... read with caution.
Where's the Cream
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What do you mean
You don’t have any cream
The Starbucks-spoiled princess did yelp
She lamented and let out a scream
Holy Green Mermaid, she carried on
I see skim, 2-percent, and whole milk
There’s even a fermented bean juice
Rotting away on the shelf
Half and half is not the same
My petulant apron-clad friend
Put that water-downed atrocity away
You put it away in the bin
It’s cream in my coffee
The fattier the better
This cup is my nirvana
Calories don’t count in heaven
Now I know what you are thinking
Our little princess should switch to decaf-tea
The problem, our little princess …
our little princess is me
So take my advice for another day
Another day you want to live, that is
For without my morning cup of joe
This princess is a fire-spitting dragon
From my dead gripping talons
Will you get my cup of caffeine
So wipe that silly smirk from your face
Soothe the beast and get me some f***g cream
~ For those of you like to listen, click on the spoken word ~
*graphic courtesy of the creative commons
This made me laugh! I love my coffee and having been missing a really good proper cup of coffee while travelling. Nice writing!!
So glad you enjoyed. I feel your pain. I love travelling but like my coffee a certain way. Where are you travelling?
I am travelling around Asia for a couple years. I am currently in Malaysia!
Not a lot of Starbucks I imagine:)
Its a lovely poem, funny as hell and quite captivating!!! Great post!!!
Thank you, Francistagbo. So glad you enjoyed:)
If you follow upvote comment and resteem me i will do same
Lol
Funny
Thank you:)
No questions ! Honest!
(Makes note to self: "Safety first - Only post a reply after the little Pryde princess had her cup of joe" )
LOL ... I would not dream of coming on here before my cup of happiness. Psst ... there may also be some dark chocolate involved:)
Maybe it's a good thing my acid reflux won't let me drink coffee. :P lol
LOL ... I actually wrote this a long time ago. I realized I had a problem ... I have my first cup at home now. Truth be told. I have never been a morning person:)
I totally get it. I need caffeine and at least an hour before I am ready for people. lol
@prydefoltz ... With all do respect, Pryde, as a fellow poet, and a Canadian one at that, I challenge you to rethink the premise of your poem.
Pryde ... that woman was right!
The expression is 'creme de la creme' ... like the premise of Steemit, the 'good stuff' floats to the top. Starbucks was trying to make money by giving her the dregs off the bottom. (Hmm ... both 2-syllable words beginning with "S" in which the theory does not comport with the reality.)
Imagine if I gave you a bowl of 'ice cream' made with 1% or 2 % milk ... do you know what we would call that? That's right ... an 'ice cube.'
Honor amongst soldiers. Call me old fashioned but I think honor demands you write a second poem ... this one from the perspective of the woman who prefers her milk straight from the udder (as nature intended).
LOL ... I may pass on that one:) Point of correction ... I wasn't at SB but a larger establishment that had everything but the good stuff:):):)
Haha, great! I'm pretty ... let's say peculiar when it comes to coffee, and it has gotten worse and worse the older I get ... or rather: the more coffee experience I gained ;) Getting good coffee while travelling is really hard, though I've sometime found the best coffee where I did least expect it - for example about 10 years ago in Beijing in a small Hutong - the owner was really cool and he offered both "western" coffee and things like "Vietnamese coffee". I have never been to Vietnam, so I don't know how authentic this was, but I wanted to try it. And this great guy really took about 15 minutes of his time to prepare this single cup of coffee and - authentic vietnamese or not - it tasted great!
That's amazing. Yes travelling and meeting one's caffeine fix doesn't always go hand in hand. When I I was New Zealand the coffee there actually put me to sleep. It may have been the milk. I am a cup of drip girl ... freshly brewed, with heavy cream. Most people are afraid of the fat and with all the different ways coffee can be brewed , drip seems old fashion. But really ... as long as it fresh, it is the most flavourable because the percolation has given it air to the molecules and then the fat in the cream rounds it out ... kind of like decanting wine and having it with cheese.
I’m right there with you! Gimme my dang cream and don’t talk to me before I’ve had my morning cup.