For My Sister - Pied Piper Poetry
Alright, as my last post explained, I'm gonna be making an effort to put out more personal content for the sake of expression, artistic gratification, and just plain fun.
To get the ball rolling, I'm gonna start things off on a bit of a darker note with a poem that I wrote nine years ago. I wrote and recited it at my little sister's funeral. They're the last words I spoke publicly in my home town before leaving forever.
We all know inside, it’s not you at all.
I couldn’t stop the instrument of fate’s infernal plot
But at your grave, I promise you, you’ll never be forgot.
As certain seeds that fall sprout only after fire,
This forest will be greener soon and grow forever higher.
Forgive us for our failure and for our many flaws.
We stand now here in mourning of your life that never was.
I really didn't have much to say at the time but I was asked to contribute so I reluctantly pecked this out and recited it as part of the eulogy. Otherwise, I was pretty quiet. One of my brothers had shot her in the head (by accident, I trust) and everyone had decided to treat him as a victim, bemoaning the turmoil he must've been going through. Being a fairly christian community, all kinds of mind-bending pseudo-explanations and platitudes were tossed around and it was all I could do to keep a straight face throughout the event. I overheard that my brother supposedly wasn't to blame for what he did because everything happens according to God's will. Funny how, in an effort to console someone, they claim their perfect god to be a shameless serial killer... Anyway, I decided against arguing with people or otherwise making any kind of scene. I wrote pretty much everyone in the room off as unworthy of my time or attention and before long, I had left that town for the last time. Good riddance to deluded lunatics. If the open casket before them all wasn't enough to snap them out of their fantasies then I can't imagine what would be. Fortunately, I've never had to endure people like that in all the years since. Growing up is kinda awesome like that.
This was a lovely and heartfelt poem... heart-wrenching, too. I'm just very sorry that we both grew up with such shitty parents whose actions and insane belief systems forced us to undergo such horrible tragedies. If anything, these kinds of experiences serve as an important reminder of what NOT to be ourselves.
Even if it's late and many years passed I'm very sorry for your loss. Beatiful words, you can definitely sense your anger at the situation in them, like it was all a charade.
On a side note, what a 180 degrees turn from your usual "walmart" persona as you said. Well you warned us!
hehe yup. Got some catching up to do before I put the uniform back on ;)
Thank you for sharing this personal note with us. She in a better place with out currency.
Yeah, we didn't put any currency into the urn with her so I guess you're absolutely right about that last part... although I can't imagine it being a better place than out here with the rest of us being all alive and stuff.
I was referring to heaven. Apparently everything over there is better and free.
Except that a place has to exist in order to be better.
This is very sad, but a touching tribute. Thanks for sharing.
My pleasure.
Have you corresponded at all with your family since or have you cut them completely out of your life. If you have more about your life already written I would love for you to share a link, but if not I would guess you have a quite interesting upbringing and one I would most certainly be interested in reading.
Through our brief conversations, you have impressed me with your passion to help others and your rise to being successful after literally coming up from the bottom. I think a lot of people could learn some intricacies of life and hard work from you, and while I am interested in seeing your more personal side, I hope you continue to spend time making content to help educate new users along with some "veterans" if you can consider a site without a year under its belt to have veterans.
I'll admit I am a Christian, but I think people telling you "everything happens according to God's will," is one of the worst things they could have said to you.
I have no idea what would be going through my mind if I were in your position, but talk of everything being ok or flowery verses being preached at me would be utter bullshit (yes I believe Christians can swear in passion to make a point).
Seems like much more of what you might have needed at the time was a friend who didn't try to cheer you up, but was there for support.
Your poem was very touching and I'm glad you were able to share that. I already count you as a friend (along with many others here) and hope that the community can reach out in love to those who go through pain similar to what you must have felt.
I'm still close with two of my other brothers but I left the rest behind in a cloud of dust and haven't seen them since. I didn't need cheering up at all, actually. I just needed the same thing that I always need. Honesty. It wasn't the time for nonsensical fairy tales.
I understand what you are saying. Sometimes the things that happen to us are so fucked up that there is no explanation.
People try to explain things away, but sometimes the answer is just an "I don't know."
I feel good can come out of tragic horrible situations, but I don't have an answer as to why they happen. I loved how people bonded together after 9/11, but would never ever wish that upon us as a country.
While it won't explain why it happened, maybe someday you will have the opportunity to be there for someone who has gone through a loss as tragic as yours. I won't even guess the emotions that were going through you as it is far too painful to think about the same situation occurring in my family.
Of course there's an explanation. A crazy parent raised a crazy kid that played chicken with a loaded gun and his sister's head. The resulting death wasn't some mysterious act of a mythological deity. Avoiding discomfort isn't a valid reason for such elaborate and blatant dishonesty, as far as I'm concerned.
I guess when you put it that way I change my opinion and have to wholeheartedly agree with you @piedpiper
Thanks for sharing... Sorry about your loss!...But death is perhaps a re-birth??? upvoted
Not according to any dictionary I've ever seen.
Death - noun.
The action or fact of dying or being killed; the end of the life of a person or organism. The permanent ending of vital processes in a cell or tissue.
synonyms: demise, dying, end, passing, loss of life
antonyms: life
Yes but the soul lives on-- Black's Law 2nd Edition: The extinction of life; the departure of the soul from the body-- (Perhaps you will meet again in a higher form!)
You'd have to first prove that souls exist before you could claim that they go somewhere after death... but high-five for citing Black's Law! It's always fun to compare legal definitions against the ones we actually use. That's material for a whole discussion right there :)
Yes it is-- i'm VERY interested in true definitions as i study a bit of common law. And my pursuits now come from the yearnings of my spirit!
Shit mate, that's intense. I know the pain of losing a little sis, under completely different circumstances, of course. But that's heavy man! Glad to see you've moved on and away from that negativity and disrespectful bullshit and gotten on with life!!!
Jesus Christ. I can't imagine.
Oh man. Sorry this happened to you.
I can't imagine the feeling of losing someone so close to you, combined with religious reasoning, I respect you for the way you handled it. Don't think I would have been able to keep calm in that situation.
Damn... That was heavy @piedpiper - I too have written about some very personal things in my life, including death, for very much the same reason as you mention at the top of your post. And yes, there are life lessons, at the very least, that you take away -- and unfortunately, they usually are "super unpleasant." Im sure you miss your little sister, but it is apparent that you carry her with you in your heart. Cheers, and thanks for the post.