Loneliness

in poetry •  2 years ago

Loneliness is the word that rules my life.
I run to the kitchen to get a knife.
It shouldn’t be like that I was told.
The point against my breast I hold.
I kiss the blade that’ll give me freedom.
A few more seconds and I’m in Eden.

1987-04-14 by Otto de Voogd

Some commentary:

First let me reassure everyone, that no innocent poet was hurt after writing this. Somehow I managed to survive the hell that French high schools were back in the 80s.

But one of my classmates did not. She was a loner. I was one of the few people in our class who even talked with her. She did talk about killing herself, but I never believed she would do it. Her name was Delphine.

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Wow, very touching. I felt the lonliness like that but still alive. Never had courage to end. Up voted. You vote ia appreciated.
Dont listen to mindhunter comment...too criticle n missing the point of your poetry.
Followed

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Thank you! Good that you didn't, there is always something better to do with your life than just end it.
Followed you back.

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So, why does my comment have more votes than yours? ;)

Sad poem, real life, raw, cold, hard, sometimes.

These are thoughts, not poetic words. Weak imagery. No rhythm or heartbeat to this total drivel. Suicidal in more ways than one! Serious improvement required i.e. learn the basics of poetry. 1/10.